


Instant Ramen

by eatpie



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Future, Bottom Matsuoka Rin, Bottom Tachibana Makoto, Dates, Firefighter Tachibana Makoto, Homophobia, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Matsuoka Rin Swears, Picnics, Professional Swimmer Matsuoka Rin, Top Nanase Haruka, parental angst, reverse cowboy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:33:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatpie/pseuds/eatpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple years after graduation, Makoto and Haru have an apartment together in the city. In between culinary school, part time jobs, and volunteer work, they make time to show their love to each other.</p><p>Haru worries that he's pulled Makoto into a deadbeat relationship. Then Haru's parents call and shake his foundations.</p><p>(edit: Now more than a oneshot! First chapter is Makoharu, second and onwards is marinka/freesome)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blushies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blushies/gifts).



> Blushies asked for a MakoHaru fic with the prompt 'cooking' and I hope I delivered!
> 
> (Written during the middle of season two, so I just kind of extrapolated from Future Fish.)

Two years after graduation from Iwatobi, Haru and Makoto live in the city. They are trying to finish culinary school and volunteering with the local fire department, respectively. 

Their apartment is tiny and cheap, but their own. On the window by their bed is a jar with wildflowers that Haru picked absentmindedly last week, and Makoto refused to throw away. A Tachibana family photo sits on the tiny dresser. It was taken at the beach last year, with Haru dragged out of the water for just long enough to fit everyone into the frame. The kotatsu in their one room apartment (where the bed is in the living room) is constantly littered with fliers that Haru only sometimes remembers to pull out of their over-flowing mailbox, and Makoto doesn’t have the energy to sort through. One corner of the room is dedicated to a small shrine of Haru’s grandmother. The shower is tiny and has only the bacon soap that was a gift from Nagisa and Rei as a joke, and a small bottle of shampoo. Their kitchenette barely has the room for one person to stand and cook. 

The whole place is too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter, but it’s theirs and Haru wouldn’t trade this tiny apartment even for the world because he built this life with Makoto. 

Five days a week, Haru wakes up at seven and takes the number 12 bus into school where he learns how to prepare food, and set a menu, and what it would take to start a restaurant. Six days a week, after classes and on Saturdays, he takes route 20 to McDonalds and works in the back, where he mechanically slaps together ‘a big mac with no lettuce and extra pickles please.’ Every Monday through Saturday night, he gets home around 8 and collapses on the bed. When Makoto finally comes home, he usually finds Haru curled up on their bed, duvet pulled over his head, overstimulated and underpaid. 

Makoto wakes up with a drowsy Haru at seven every morning, and cooks them breakfast while Haru rubs sleep from his eyes and attempts to not crawl back into bed. After Haru has left for the day, Makoto makes the bed, washes dishes, and packs his lunch. He catches a ride with a friend to the fire station, or rides his old granny-bike to the pet shelter where he works. He doesn’t get home until around nine or ten, and usually pops in with takeout or convenience store bentos. 

Haru isn’t completely unaware of the irony that a culinary student eats instant ramen for dinner most nights. 

Their lives are quiet and rutted into routine by necessity. When he pokes his head out from under the duvet to see a tired and smiling Makoto coming home while holding up a warm bag of takeout, he wonders if he’s dragged Makoto into worn-out relationship. They came to the city because of him. After high school, Makoto had been so overjoyed that Haru had had a goal at all that he hadn’t thought twice about following him to the city. After arriving, they had scrambled to find jobs so that they could pay bills. 

Haru wonders what Makoto had written down on that career sheet back in high school, and wonders if this life is anything even remotely close to his dreams. 

Scrambling to make rent and keep his grades up were not what Haru saw himself doing. But Makoto makes them tea on winter nights, and they sit huddled together in their duvet while staring out at the dark sky that arches over the blinking spires of high rises and office towers of the city. And on Sundays, their only day off together, they’ll sleep in and kiss quietly beneath their striped duvet, or take a walk with hands wound tightly together against the world, or they’ll go to the community pool early in the morning to avoid all the young children where the only other people in the water are an elderly aquarobics class. 

Sometimes Makoto will suggest that Haru should join the community’s adult swimming club since they get private swim sessions, but Haru always shakes his head firmly. He doesn’t have enough time with Makoto as it is, and if Makoto’s not there, then he doesn’t want it. He can’t believe that two years have already passed since graduation, and he thinks that two more could easily slip by and Makoto will be there smiling easily and supporting him even if he finds this life unfulfilling. 

As they’re cuddled up for the night under the striped duvet, Makoto breathing deep and soft against Haru’s shoulder, Haru decides that he’s going to do something just for Makoto. 

Saturday morning, Makoto hums while cooking breakfast, and Haru mumbles quietly from the doorway of the kitchenette, “could you come home early tonight?” 

Makoto splashes fresh oil in the pan and it sizzles, “Tori wants to train the volunteers tonight, so I probably won’t be needed there. I can be home by eight?” 

Haru nods, sleepy and happy.

Makoto glances at him briefly, “you feeling ok?” 

Haru pulls the duvet around him tighter, “not sick.” 

“Just checking,” Makoto laughs, and leans over to peck a kiss, “you’re usually still in bed right now.” 

Haru stares down at his feet and shrugs, “wanted to spend time with you.” 

Makoto smiles softly at that, and tells Haru about the older cats at the shelter named Lady and Princeton and Jellyfish. 

-o-

On his break, Haru makes a call to the Tachibana family which leaves his heart pounding and a warm tingling over his skin. He’s always overwhelmed by their love and enthusiasm and energetic squabbling. Mrs Tachibana is always so warm, and the twins are in their second year of high school which just can’t be right (there’s no way they’re that old), and everyone is so loud and happy to hear from him. 

He is so touched by how they accept him, that he’s smiling softly when he goes back on shift and one coworker confesses that they’ve never seen him express anything less than distain. 

-o-

After work, he politely thanks his coworkers for a good shift, and then hurriedly changes out of his grease-stained uniform. He catches a bus to the farmer’s market that’s not far from their apartment, but that they rarely bother to buy from anymore since they don’t often have time to cook. He looks over the fresh produce with a critical eye and picks out some ingredients, before walking back home. 

He is stopped by a curious neighbor who has never had the chance to talk to him. She’s old and hunched over, but funny and speaks praises about Makoto, so Haru decides he likes her. He ends the conversation with a polite bow and explanations that he’s in a hurry to get home.

“With a fine man like that waiting for you,” she mischievously calls out after him, “I would be in a hurry too!” 

-o-

Haru jogs up the stairs to his apartment door, and quickly pops inside. He turns immediately towards the kitchenette and starts planning out how long it will take to cook everything. He pulls out his cell and texts Makoto to pick up some drinks on his way home and gives a short list of which ones will taste best with the food he’s planning. He wants to make something delicious, but quick and cheap, so he starts chopping up the vegetables for mild chicken curry. 

The apartment is warm with the smell of curry spice when Haru hears Makoto fumbling with keys. 

“I’m home!” Makoto calls, dumping his bag and shoes by the door. 

Haru sticks his head out the kitchenette door, “welcome home.” 

“Mmm, what’re you making?” Makoto crowds into the kitchen and looks over Haru’s shoulder. He smiles and kisses the side of Haru’s head, “am I getting the gourmet treatment?” 

Haru just keeps stirring the stewing vegetables and chicken. He elbows Makoto out of the kitchenette, because it really is too small. 

He can hear Makoto shuffling around in the main room, and smiles quietly to himself. 

When he exits the kitchenette while balancing plates of curry and rice, Makoto is already on their laptop and chatting with his family over skype. He looks so happy to be chatting with his parents about his job, and the twins about school. Makoto hasn’t talked to them in weeks, Haru knows, and that’s why he arranged earlier that day for them to call. 

He sits down, shuffles into frame, and hands Makoto a plate. 

“Hello, Haru!” Mr Tachibana greets him with a conspiratorial wink, “and how are you?” 

“Good, thank you,” Haru can feel Makoto’s happy shoulder bump as they shift to sit close enough together to fit on the webcam. 

“Makoto was telling us about how he works with cats,” Mr Tachibana returns back to the previous conversation, “and I’m just surprised that he doesn’t bring home any poor strays.” 

“I already live here,” Haru keeps a straight face. 

Makoto laughs and pulls Haru closer with one arm, “Ran, Ren! How is school?” 

Mr Tachibana is pushed aside by an energetic Ren who declares it to be “booooring!” 

“But you’re failing math! Maybe Haru would tutor you,” Ran teases him slyly. 

Ren flushes a bright red and sits back in a sulk, while Ran tells them all about her new girlfriend this week, and how their homeroom teacher is fun to tease. 

Makoto’s mom ducks into frame, “hello boys,” her eyes crinkle with happiness. Then she puts on a mock scolding face, “are you drinking beer?” 

“Noo~” Makoto pushes the tall can of beer further out of frame. 

When the call ends some time later, Makoto is flushed with happiness at seeing his family again. 

A couple empty beer cans are littered on the kotatsu, and the plates only have a couple grains of rice left on them. 

Haru is leaning happily against Makoto’s shoulder, warm and satisfied. 

“Thank you for cooking dinner,” Makoto nuzzles and kisses Haru’s hair.

Haru humms and plays with Makoto’s long fingers, “I bought some cake.” 

“Alright,” Makoto moves to stand, “let’s get it out.” 

Haru pushes him back down firmly, “I’ll do it,” and he slightly sways with standing up too fast and beer before nipping into the kitchenette to grab the cake slices. 

They’re vanilla, with white cream filling and strawberries carefully arranged in the icing. Haru carefully raises a fork and motions to feed Makoto, all while keeping a deadpan face. 

Makoto laughs and takes the bite of cake into his mouth and makes exaggerated positive sounds. He licks some icing from his lip, “it’s good! Not as good as the cake you brought home from class last week though.”

Haru ducks his head at the complement and takes a bite of the cake himself. 

“You missed a bit,” Makoto swipes a bit of icing from the corner of Haru’s mouth with his thumb and licks it off with a smile. 

It’s not long before Makoto uses the excuse of dabs of icing to pepper little kisses over Haru’s face. The slices of cakes are abandoned on the table as Haru cups Makoto’s jaw with gentle hands so that he can press slow, insistent kisses to his mouth. 

Makoto happily leans into the gentle kisses, sliding a hand to Haru’s waist and under his shirt to just sit comfortably against soft skin. 

Haru tucks his head into the crook of Makoto’s neck and presses hot kisses and bites along the smooth skin there. His head spins with the buzz of alcohol and the sweet, strong smell of Makoto. 

Makoto bites back little moans, and tips his head while leaning back on one hand. When Haru looks up, he catches his lips in an overwhelming kiss. 

Haru insistently tugs Makoto onto their bed which they had been sitting against. They stumble awkwardly and land heavily onto the sheets, refusing to break their heated kisses. Haru is insistently pulling on Makoto’s shirt, and they break apart long enough for Makoto to tear it over his head and then reach for Haru again. Haru presses his hand firmly against Makoto’s dick through his jeans. 

Makoto is flushed and wide-eyed, breathing heavily and pulling Haru closer by his belt loops. 

Haru easily climbs over Makoto to straddle him and grind downwards. He presses kisses to Makoto’s neck that are all tongue and teeth. 

Makoto twists upwards with quiet, stifled groans against the back of his hand. 

Haru slowly makes his way down Makoto’s chest and stomach, teasing his skin, and leaving marks that will bloom red by morning. He sits up onto Makoto’s thighs to give himself room to undo Makoto’s clinking belt. 

Makoto still has his fingers looped through Haru’s belt, and he tugs insistently on it, “you gonna keep these on?” 

Haru shakes his head and shuffles off so that they can both quickly push off their jeans and underwear. Haru keeps glancing over at Makoto and fully appreciating the strict workout regimen for firefighter training that has kept Makoto’s muscles defined. Haru knows from experience that Makoto can hold him up with one arm and fuck him into a wall. Haru flushes red at the thought. 

Makoto reaches to fiddle with the edge of Haru’s shirt and bites his earlobe gently. 

Haru tugs it over his head, and turns back to Makoto. 

Their kisses are leisurely and warm. They lay back onto the twisted sheets and stroke broad palms along the lean lines of each other’s sides, backs, arms. They stay like that for a while, breaking apart for seconds at a time to stare into each other’s eyes, smile, and then falling back into each other’s warmth. 

Eventually, Haru reaches across to pull out a condom from the drawer beside their bed and pushes it into Makoto’s palm. 

Makoto hands it right back and smiles softly up at him, “want you tonight.” 

Haru nods, presses a soft kiss to Makoto’s lips, and whispers, “alright.” 

There’s a moment of awkward leaning and reaching, where Makoto holds onto Haru’s waist so that Haru won’t topple off the bed while reaching for lube. When he comes back and rebalances, Makoto is grinning wide and obviously holding back from tickling Haru. 

Haru narrows his eyes at him and squeezes out a bit of lube to warm up in his hands. 

When Haru reaches down to wrap a loose fist around Makoto’s cock, Makoto bites his lip and groans. He thrusts up languidly into Haru’s fist, rolling powerful hips and making hushed noises. 

Haru carefully trails slick fingers to brush against Makoto’s asshole, then gently pushes one inside.

Makoto tenses and holds down a noise of discomfort, and only relaxes when Haru moves one hand to pull gently at his foreskin before setting a frustratingly slow pace. 

Haru continues to work Makoto open while watching his flushed face for signs of discomfort. 

It’s not long before Makoto huffs out insistent small, “Haru. Haru if you don’t- please just-” and is trying to reign in the unconscious little twitches of his hips. 

Haru picks up the condom, and hands it to Makoto, keeping fingers buried and curling. 

Makoto gives Haru’s cock a few quick pumps before opening the foil packet and rolling it on. He’s panting, and the muscles in his arms are tense, but his hands are steady and sure. 

Haru stays still, and chews on his lip while watching intently. He shifts and helps Makoto wrap his legs around his waist. He removes his fingers gently, and then lines up the tip of his dick and pushes forward slowly. Makoto lets out an unabashed groan, and Haru stills, because he knows that Makoto will need a moment to adjust. He gently fists Makoto’s dick with his right hand once more and tries to keep his own hips still. 

After a couple breaths, Makoto is pushing towards Haru, and Haru takes the incentive to pull Makoto closer with one hand on a hip and bury himself. 

Soon, they start up a rhythm that rolls smoothly from Haru’s deep thrusts to Makoto pushing back firmly. 

Makoto grabs Haru’s right hand and clumsily intertwines their fingers and holds their hands over his heart. He’s getting louder now, letting Haru know that he’s close. 

Sweat beads at Haru’s temple as he shifts his weight slightly to angle upwards and finds the right pace to make Makoto moan breathily in pleasure. 

Makoto’s orgasm hits him like a shock, his lips slightly parted and hand clutching Haru’s. 

Haru continues his pace unrelenting, seeking out the same pleasure and driven to distraction by Makoto’s easy smile. Haru’s hips stutter through his orgasm and he drops his head onto Makoto’s collarbone. Makoto laughs quietly, and happily. 

Haru keeps one hand on the condom to pull out, and then tips onto his side to rest next to Makoto on sweaty sheets. 

Their hands are still intertwined. 

They kiss lightly as their skin prickles with cooling sweat. After a few deep breaths, Haru sits up to remove the condom and is gone for a short moment only to return with a warm cloth. He wipes down Makoto’s torso and leaves tiny kisses against ticklish skin. 

Makoto pulls him down into a warm embrace and awkwardly throws the duvet over them with one arm. 

Haru pillows his head onto Makoto’s shoulder and finds his hand again. 

“That was really nice,” Makoto kisses Haru’s ruffled hair. 

Haru mumbles, “good. It was for you.” 

“Hmm?” 

“All of it,” Haru quietly explains, “you do everything for us, and I wanted a special evening just for you.” He tips his head up to look into Makoto’s sleepy, green eyes, “I wanted you to be happy.” 

“I’m always happy with you,” Makoto pulls Haru even closer with one arm wrapped around him. 

Haru feels warm all the way down to his toes and snuggles closer. 

“And this was very, very nice, thank you,” Makoto squeezes their joined hands slightly, “let’s wake up early to swim tomorrow, ok?”

Haru nods sleepily and happily, and they fall asleep in the warm embrace of their cozy apartment under a canopy of stars.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru receives a call from his parents, an unexpected guest appears, and Makoto just tries to hold them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> */wiggles eyebrows suggestively/*

Haru’s phone beeps while he changes out of his uniform in the McDonald’s employee washroom. He finishes tugging the shirt over his head and checks the notifications. He has one missed call from his parents. Haru ignores the notification and slips the phone back into his bag. He manages to ignore it all the way home, all through dinner, and for two more days.

During his lunch break on Monday, his phone rings.

“Hello? Makoto?” Haru tucks his cell between his ear and shoulder while opening his water bottle, because that’s the only person who ever calls him.

“Hi, Haruka, it’s me,” a friendly, female voice replies, “it’s your mother.”

Haru pauses, and takes the cell in his hand. He stares down at the phone screen, and then raises it back to his ear.

She was saying, “it’s been a while.”

Haru clenches his teeth and fiddles with the plastic water bottle cap, “a year,” he admits reluctantly.

“Are you still at culinary school? Still living with your, ah… Your friend? Makoto?”

“…Yes.”

“Lovely,” She chimes, “listen-“

Haru feels sick all of a sudden. His insides are cold, and his skin too hot. The floor seemed to be tilting sideways and forgetting to take him with it.

“-would be great if you could come.”

“What?” He mumbles out reflexively.

“A family reunion,” she repeats slowly, “the whole extended family will be there. Everyone would love to see you. It’s out of town, but my sister offered to have you for a few days. Your father and I will be staying at a hotel. He’s still working in America, you know.”

“… I’ll have to see – Ask Makoto… School’s…”

“Yes, yes, school must keep you very busy,” she allows, “well it’s in a month, so let me and your father know if you’re coming. I really do hope you’ll come.” Her voice softens, “I miss you, sweetie.”

Haru swallows hard. His mouth is dry, “… me too.”

The silence that follows is long enough that Haru looks down at his phone to check that she hasn’t hung up.

“Well, it was lovely talking to you,” her voice returns to the polite friendliness that she had begun with, “goodbye.”

“Bye,” Haru mutters, and the line disconnects. He slips his cell back into his pocket, and scrubs a hand over his eyes. He feels worn out. His shoulders ache where they were tense and crowded up around his ears. There is still a whole afternoon left of classes to go to and then work after that, and all of a sudden, Haru isn’t up to doing any of it. He shoves his water-bottle back into his bag and types a quick ‘call work – tell them I’m sick please’ to Makoto.

He doesn’t think about the call as he stalks across campus, or as he waits for the bus, or even when he swims laps around the empty, indoor community pool. He falls into the calm repetition of counting laps, and feeling the burn of his muscles as he continues his strokes. For a few minutes afterwards he lets his eyes slide shut and floats on his back in the water until a lifeguard calls out to him to make sure he’s not drowning.

When he steps back into the locker-room, dripping and loose-limbed, he checks his phone once more. Three missed calls and a text from Makoto.

_‘Are you ok? Where are you?’_

‘pool’

Haru changes back into street clothes and takes the bus home. He feels the pressure of ignoring his thoughts building up, and wishes that he could have stayed longer, but the pool was going to be closed to the public shortly so that elementary kids could practice after school. The bus is filled with high school girls chatting as they headed downtown after classes. Haru listens idly to their conversation until he reaches his stop.

He gratefully curls up under the duvet once he gets home, and tries not to think about his mom, or the last time that they’d talked. He tries not to think about the anxiety that had tightened his lungs in the days before he’d last gone to visit his parents. He had pushed back the sour feelings of abandonment and betrayal from his childhood that rose in his throat like bile. He tries to ignore the memory of the moment he’d stuttered out “he- I- we’re together-” and the cold, distant silence that had followed, before he had gotten on the train to head back to Makoto. He couldn’t help the shame and anger that had gripped his body during that train ride home.

The apartment slowly grows dark as the sun sets behind the high-rises of the city. Haru dozes with the duvet pulled up over his head, and the sounds of his neighbors’ television coming muffled through the walls.

When Makoto comes home, he doesn’t turn on the overhead light. Haru can hear him shuffling his shoes at the door, and rustling some bags of take-out. The bed dips when Makoto sits on the edge. Haru rolls over to curl around Makoto and rests his forehead on the small of his back.

Makoto chuckles, “sick people shouldn’t go to the pool, right?”

Haru grunts. He wraps his arms around Makoto and squeezes tightly.

Makoto comfortingly runs his hand over Haru’s forearm a few times before lacing their fingers together. His larger palm covers the back of Haru’s hand. “I brought sushi home tonight,” he offers.

Haru sighs, and gathers the duvet around his shoulders. He slides off the bed onto the floor and scoots towards the low table. He peeks up beneath his fringe at Makoto who is quickly unpacking the plastic containers. He pokes one thin arm out from the cocoon of the duvet and pulls a container towards himself. “Mom called today,” he mumbles.

“What - my mom?” Makoto looks up in confusion.

Haru shakes his head and pulls the duvet closer.

Makoto is silent as he pulls out the packets of wasabi, and pours out a little soy sauce into a small dish. With forced nonchalance he asks, “what did she say?”

“Family reunion next month,” Haru pops a spicy roll in his mouth and watches through his fring as Makoto carefully choose his first piece.

“Ah,” Makoto pokes ineffectively at the contents of his take-out with his chopsticks, “are you going?”

Haru shrugs and eats another piece. They rarely talk about Haru’s parents, but it had been clear that Makoto didn’t like them very much. He hadn’t met them; Haru had been living with his grandmother already when he’d met Makoto. But Makoto knew that every time they contacted Haru, they had left him sour and hurt, so he didn’t like them. Haru had never discussed his aborted attempt to come out to his parents, or tried to explain the confusing mixture of emotions that he felt towards them.

Makoto sighs and scratches his head, “well…”

“I’m thinking about it,” Haru cuts in quietly.

“Yeah?” Makoto looks worried.

“Yeah.” Haru confirms. He’s not certain about anything regarding his parents, but he’s too tired to talk about them any longer, “how was work?”

Makoto pauses, then puts on a cheery attitude to start talking about the adoption fair that had run that day. He enthuses about the litter of kittens who had been adopted, and the husky whom no-one had thought would find a home in the city full of tiny apartments.

By the time all the plastic containers littered across the table were empty, Makoto was smiling genuinely, and Haru had let the duvet drop to pool around his hips while sliding one of his feet along Makoto’s leg under the table.

When they curl up together that night, Haru’s chest feels hollow. The cheer from after dinner fades as he’s left alone with his thoughts. He buries his face in the back of Makoto’s neck, and loops an arm over his waist to intertwine their hands. He misses his parents, but he’s been missing them his whole life, so that’s not a new feeling. He’s angry at them, for everything that they’ve done, and everything that they’ve been too absent to do. He’s indignant that they left a young child to an elderly woman, who was too gentle to say no. He can’t believe that they’d leave a kid to grow up without knowing them, and then have the audacity to expect a place in his life. That they’d dare ask him to forgive them, without apologizing, and then refuse to accept him as he was. He feels guilty for not loving them like a good son.

Makoto rolls over suddenly, and shocks Haru out of his thoughts. He cradles Haru’s head into his chest and kisses the top of his head, “I’ve got you.”

-o-

Haru wakes up Tuesday morning with a small headache, and tucked firmly between Makoto and the wall. He is warm and sleepy, and he stares up into Makoto’s sleeping face. He takes a moment to let the feeling of love and gratefulness swell beneath his breastbone, before sitting up a little to lean down and give Makoto a tiny kiss.

Makoto is still for a moment, then the quality of his breathing changes and Haru knows that he’s slowly waking up. Makoto gives a small smile with his eyes closed and stretches happily before peeping his eyes open and leaning upwards to return the kiss.

“Morning,” Makoto mumbles through his smile, eyes creased at the edges.

Haru wiggles back down under the duvet and rests his cheek on Makoto’s chest.

Makoto lets him and wraps his arms around Haru’s shoulders, “we should probably get up now, you know?”

Haru doesn’t say anything.

Makoto traces lazy shapes against Haru’s shoulder, “do you feel up to going to school today?”

Haru lays still and feels Makoto breathing beneath him. He listens to the lethargic beating of Makoto’s heart. Makoto waits patiently for Haru to mumble, “yes,” against his collarbone. He ghosts one finger tip over Makoto’s right nipple, back and forth, and kisses Makoto’s chest, “do you have some time?”

Makoto hums and runs a hand down Haru’s back, “more time than you have.”

“I’ll be quick, then,” Haru mumbles and moves down Makoto’s stomach while peppering little kisses, and pulling his sleeping shorts down around his thighs.

-o-

During school, Haru’s thoughts keep straying back to a flushed and loud Makoto. He’s never been more thankful for the heavy aprons that everyone wears, because he hadn’t had time to relieve his arousal that morning.

When his final class ends, a classmate calls his name.

“Hey, Nanase!” A freckled classmate, Goshima, waves him over.

Haru pauses and looks over at a group of a few classmates who are chatting.

“We were planning on going out for drinks tomorrow night,” Goshima explains, “wanna come?”

“… I will have to see if I can get time off…” Haru adjusts his bag on his shoulder.

“Oh, that’s ok, text me later when you know, ok?” Goshima smiles, “do you have my number? No? Let’s exchange!”

A few minutes later, Haru is on the bus on the way to work with three new numbers in his phone and a distinct feeling of confusion.

He dodges questions from co-workers asking after his health, and zones out through his entire shift.

Hours later, he climbs the stairs to his apartment with relief. The day was exhausting, even though he had told Makoto that he’d be fine. He stops short in the hallway leading to his front door and addresses the figure leaning against it, “… Rin?”

“Hey, Haru!” Rin looks over at him and grins, “it’s about time that you got home!”

Haru nods once and keeps his face blank. He hadn’t been expecting Rin, but it’s not like he was unwanted. He moves to unlock the door, and Rin steps out of his way. They both kicked off their shoes, and Rin drops his bags off by the door where Haru has been leaving junkmail fliers.

Rin sits down heavily at the table and teases, “yo, aren’t you gonna offer me something to drink or anything?”

Haru just restrains an eyeroll, and turns on the kettle for tea.

“I brought sweets,” Rin calls out and begins rustling through his suitcase.

Haru joins him out in the main room, and sits at the table with a pot of tea and two mismatch mugs. One is a teal colour with cats and the logo for the shelter that Makoto works at, and the other has a cartoon shark on it. They always keep the latter one for when Rin comes over.

Rin puts his gift on the table and takes the mug of tea that Haru offers him, “thanks. So what’s happening around here lately?”

Haru shrugs, “school. Work.”

Rin grins sharp-toothed, “laaaaaame.”

Before he can needle Haru any further, Haru’s cell starts ringing. He picks up with a short, “yeah?”

“Hey, Haru,” Makoto sounds breathless on the other end, “are you home?”

“Yeah,” Haru glances over at Rin who is not being very subtle in his eavesdropping.

“Good, great, listen-“

“Rin’s here,” Haru informs him.

“I was worried he’d get in early. Good thing you got there,” Makoto sighs with relief. After a moment of confused silence from Haru, Makoto groans, “wait, don’t tell me you forgot he’d be visiting for a few days.”

Rin starts cackling and smacks the table, “I can’t believe you forgot, Haru!”

“No,” Haru insists petulantly.

“I’ll be home really soon,” Makoto shouts over the sound of traffic, “I’m cycling home right now.”

“Ok,” Haru glances over at a smug Rin and deadpans, “hurry up.”

Rin shuffles around the table until he’s sitting next to Haru and bumps their shoulders together, “c’mon, did you really forget?”

Haru just looks away and takes a sip of tea.

“C’mooon,” Rin wheedles while leaning into his space, and nuzzling his ear.

Haru just reaches down and pinches some skin above Rin’s hip.

Rin recoils, laughing and rubbing at the sore spot, “jeeze!”

“I’ve been busy,” Haru mutters.

“Yeah, yeah, with school and work,” Rin leans one elbow on the table and props his chin on his palm, “but I was really looking forward to coming, you know?”

Haru looks down at him, and bumps their shoulders together again in apology.

Rin flashes sharp teeth in a grin once more, “but really, what’s going on? You’re not looking so good.”

Haru sighs, “call from my mom.”

“Wait, your parents are alive?” Rin blinks up at Haru in confusion. At Haru’s glare he defends, “hey, you can’t blame me for thinking they weren’t around! You lived alone for years as a minor, you know?”

“I know,” Haru’s voice is bitter.

“So not doing so great with the fam-jam, huh,” Rin sighs, “I guess I know what that’s like.”

Haru nods slightly and just keeps drinking tea.

“Yeah, if you asked me in high school, I would say that there was no way I’d be on talking terms with my mom,” Rin chuckles, “should have known she wouldn’t be weirded out by a queer son though, since Kou already told her that she was a girl. I was pretty dumb, huh? Sometimes you just gotta have a straightforward conversation with ‘em, and you’d be surprised at how they’ll react.”

Haru feels his throat tighten and his eyes are burning. He wishes that it would be that easy. How could he expect anything, when his parents had already rejected and abandoned him before. He tips his head down to rest on Rin’s shoulder and squeezes his eyes shut.

Rin just slips an arm around Haru’s waist and lets them sit in silence for a while.

Haru watches the steam rise from the cooling tea while Rin quietly plays a game on his phone, and leans his head against Haru’s. The tea is cold, and Haru is ineffectively poking at Rin’s game while Rin hisses “cut that out!” when Makoto finally walks through the door.

Rin looks up at the sound of the door opening, “oh, hey.”

“Hi, Rin,” Makoto smiles apologetically, “sorry. I couldn’t get away from work right away.”

“No big,” Rin grins, “just been hanging with Haru-chaan.”

Haru pinches Rin again. He then sits up expectantly and Makoto leans down to give him a peck on the lips while smiling.

“Me too, me too,” Rin points to his sharp grin and turns his face up towards Makoto.

Makoto laughs, leans forward - over Haru - and gives Rin a short kiss as well. He steps back, and sits down, “have you two eaten yet?”

“Nope,” Rin taps on the table-top with nimble fingers, “let’s go out! I want to eat something spicy… Let’s get Korean, I wanna have buldak!”

Makoto nods, “sounds good to me. Haru?”

Haru nods, figuring that there will be something milder on the menu that he would want to try.

They slip on shoes and coats, while Rin looks up the closest Korean restaurant on his phone. They all know that he’s the one who is most likely to complain about the place later if he doesn’t get to pick.

They clatter heavily down the stairs to the ground floor of the apartment building, and Makoto holds the front door for one of their elderly neighbors. Once they reach the sidewalk, Haru drops behind Rin and Makoto a little bit to make room for the other pedestrians. He watches them chat about nothing in particular. Makoto has to lean down slightly to hear Rin over the traffic. He has a slight smile on his face and keeps nodding at whatever Rin is saying.

It’s nice to see Rin again. Looking back on it, Haru would never have thought that they’d be friendly after his return from Australia, let alone casual partners. He knows that he can hardly begin to understand everything that Rin went through during high school, but Rin had seemed more focused by the time they graduated. Becoming the swim team captain had centered him and given him a drive that Haru envied. Rin had even mellowed out enough to joke about his old temper in high school.

The bright lights of the storefronts glitter in the darkness between the profiles of their faces. Rin pushes a hand back through his bangs and laughs at something Makoto said. Haru’s chest feels warm and he realizes just how much he’d missed having the both of them together.

They’ve stopped in front of a restaurant, and Makoto turns back slightly to Haru, “is this alright?”

Haru nods. He doesn’t think he’s ever rejected a restaurant, but Makoto asks every time.

They get seated at a cosy booth near the back; Makoto slips in beside Haru and Rin sits down across from them. He eagerly opens his menu, then points out a dish, “oh! This one is really good.”

“It’ll probably be too spicy for me,” Makoto admits sheepishly.

“Can’t handle the heat?” Rin bites out a grin and wiggles his eyebrows.

Haru levels him with an unimpressed stare for the cheesy line while Makoto blushes.

Rin laughs and returns to the menu.

They manage to order with minimal disagreement. When they’re left with their drinks, Rin puts his elbows up on the table and glances between the other two, “so how’s it going to be this time?”

Makoto looks over at Haru briefly and starts, “well, we didn’t really get a moment to talk about what we’re comfortable with -“

“I’m fine with anything,” Haru cuts in quietly while staring into his glass of water. He looks up at Makoto, “I’m fine with anything if you are.”

Makoto shrugs with a soft smile and then looks back over to Rin, “we’ll just be how it’s always been. You know we love you.”

Rin blushes violently and glances away while chewing on the straw in his drink, “yeah, well.” He grumbles a bit more, but perks up when their food arrives.

After consuming more spicy chicken than Haru thought a person could, Rin’s grin turns sly, “I’m looking forward to some good sex this week.”

Rin’s shoe taps Haru’s shin, and he kicks back on reflex. They start kicking under the table until Makoto has to distract them with the desert menu. At the end of the night, they leave happy and full, back out onto the glow of the nighttime city.

-o-

_Haru looks around at all the adults dressed in black. He can’t hear them, but he knows they’re whispering poisonous words. He’s seated in a stuffy room with the parents that he hasn’t seen in years beside him, and seated behind them are close neighbors and friends of his grandmother. At the front of the room are a closed casket, a large wreath of flowers, and a photograph of his grandmother smiling serenely. He had been here yesterday, he knows, for his grandmother’s wake, and then again today for the funeral ceremony. His mother is crying quietly beside him. His father is a statue. Haru feels sweaty in the dark suit. His collared shirt sticks to his back uncomfortably. The whispers of the guests are smoke that hangs heavily in the air. They seek out Haru and hang around his ears, wreathing his face in foul smelling smog._

_After the funeral, his mother offers to move him to America with them. Haru shakes his head and replies, “I don’t like hamburger.”_

_He lays on the floor of his empty house, feeling the world spinning. He feels like he’s going to be attending a funeral every day for the rest of his life, surrounded by noxious whispers and nothing else. Slowly the tie tightens around his neck, squeezing more and more until Haru can’t breathe, and his fingers scramble uselessly against it._

-o-

Haru blinks awake and can hear Rin’s snoring. He is sweaty and breathing hard, and has rolled away across the floor from the futon that they had put out.

He remembers coming home after dinner and laying out an old, thin futon that Makoto had borrowed from his parents and never returned. He remembers complaining that the bed was too small and took the futon for himself while Rin and Makoto curled up on the bed. Haru examines the futon and realizes that sometime in the night, Makoto had moved down onto the futon with him, and Rin was now star-fished across the bed.

Haru closes his eyes, peels the sticky nightshirt away from his sweaty front, and breaths in deeply while counting to eight before noisily letting his breath out. He pulls in another breath slowly, and holds one hand over his chest, willing his heart to slow down. The apartment feels empty and vast. Like his house after his grandmother’s death. Like the offer to move to America. Haru’s eyes flicker to the photos that are placed throughout the apartment to try and remind himself that the expanding emptiness in his chest isn’t real anymore.

“Haru?”

Haru’s head snaps up, startled, and fixes on a sleep-mussed Rin.

Rin sits up a bit further and sleepily scrubs his bangs out of his face, “what’s up?”

Haru can’t find anything to say. His shoulders shake up and down in a silent sob.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Rin mumbles, seeing Haru’s face distressed and wide-eyed in the moonlight coming from the window. He steps over Makoto and kneels close to Haru. He pulls him into a tight hug.

Haru is overwarm and humid. He feels smothered against Rin’s shoulder, but he wraps his arms around Rin’s waist anyway. He tucks his nose against Rin’s collar even as he sniffles. Tears run silently from his eyes and get caught in Rin’s hair, and skitter across his neck. The tears run hot and gum up his eyelashes, and he clenches sweaty fingers against Rin’s shirt. He doesn’t know for how long he sits there, shaking and trying so hard not to cry that he gets a headache.

Rin runs a warm hand over his back and mutters “what the fuck” into Haru’s hair over and over.

When Haru finally pulls away he feels sticky with sweat and tears, so he stands up and mumbles, “shower” before staggering the few feet to his bathroom. He stands under warm spray, but he can’t bear to be alone for long, even in a place so familiar. He wanders out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and hair plastered to his forehead.

Makoto is awake now, talking quietly with Rin. When Haru stands in the doorway to the bathroom, Makoto smiles up at him and gestures for him to come over to the futon. Makoto folds Haru into another hug, while Rin stands up and busies himself collecting things. He throws a dry towel at them before clicking the kitchen light on and rummaging through their cupboards.

Makoto maneuvers Haru to sit between his legs facing away from him and begins toweling his hair dry, “what happened?”

Haru knows that he doesn’t have to reply. He knows that Makoto would happily let him keep to himself, but he wants to. He wants to convey, even a little bit, the void that sticks around in his chest and that sometimes grows until he can’t even see the people in front of him, “dreamed about my grandma’s funeral.”

Makoto hums, but stays silent as he squeezes water from Haru’s hair.

“When she died, it was hard. My parents wanted me to move with them,” Haru feels the words dropping from his mouth as though someone else is speaking them, but he knows them to be absolutely true, “they wanted me to do something for them, after ignoring what I wanted for years. You don’t do that.” Haru gritted his teeth, “you don’t ask a child in mourning…” he trails off, anger burning hot in his face now and choking the words in his throat. He can feel water trail down his face from his hair or from tears he can’t tell.

“Did you want to move to America with them?” Makoto asked quietly.

“It doesn’t matter, they shouldn’t have done any of it in the first place,” Haru felt a scream build in his chest. He’s shaking with indignation from what his parents did to their child. He lets out a heavy breath and says viciously, “I hate them, I hate them.” He can feel the tears roll heavy and hot down his cheeks again. He leans back firmly against Makoto’s chest and lets out a small, “I just want them to like me.” He feels quite stupid, then.

Makoto wraps his arms around Haru again and tucks his face into the crook of Haru’s neck, “I’m so sorry.”

Haru trembles with fatigue, feeling deflated.

Rin steps out of the kitchen, holding mugs full of tea, and snacks, “alright, time for a two a.m. pity party. I’m the champion of those!”

Makoto lets out a small laugh.

Haru pushes his face into the spare towel to dry his eyes and smiles slightly.

“First of all, you’re taking these,” Rin rattles a bottle of painkillers at Haru, “and drinking a whole cup of tea so you don’t have an emotion hang-over in the morning. And then I’m owning your asses at Mario Kart.”

“No way!” Makoto props his chin on Haru’s shoulder, “I’m the reigning champ!”

“Only cos Haru-chan sucks so much,” Rin taunts, waving a wii-mote at him.

They rearrange themselves, folding up the futon so that it’s a comfy place to sit, and pulling the television stand over in front of them. Snacks and half-empty mugs litter the floor between the boys’ feet. Haru is wedged between Rin and Makoto, wrapped in the duvet and sighing every time they ask “do you have everything you need?” or “do you want more snacks?” or “are you comfortable?”.

Between race courses, Haru cups the back of Rin’s head and kisses him firmly before whispering “thank you” and then settling back down between them.

Rin’s grin is wide when he wiggles back against the bed.

They finally fall asleep curled up around each other on the futon and in the glow from the Mario Kart selection screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I'm still getting used to what is and isn't maintained between my word document and ao3. Apparently the few texts between haru and makoto were deleted, so I've added them again. ERRRR. Sorry about that!
> 
> So I continued it! I hope that it's still alright. This chapter is unbeta'd currently (because my beta left the country che!) but I'll put up the beta'd version when it's finished. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented saying that they would enjoy seeing a continuation. All your comments made me so~~ happy~~ ♥
> 
> Everything about Haru's parents is complete headcanon. I was showing a friend of mine Free for the first time, so I rewatched the first few episodes of the first season, and Makoto says that Haru's parent's live elsewhere. That little fact stuck in my head and I couldn't ignore it, so here I am. Writing a (admittedly, very personal) account of how parents can fuck up. I'm sorry if it ever seems trite. 
> 
> (I have a tumblr at eatpienotwar, and i take writing + art commissions. Just click on my 'commission' header over on my tumblr.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Directly following the previous chapter: Rin and Haru have some bonding time and we all miss Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is also not beta'd because I'm impatient and like the idea of updating roughly once a week. Sorry!

Makoto is gone when Haru wakes up. Rin sits at the low table, typing on their laptop and munching on salty crackers. Haru glances at the clock, sees that it’s noon, and awards himself a day off from school. He dozes in bed for a few minutes, listening to Rin snicker and mutter at the laptop screen. Slowly, Haru stretches out each limb, and cracks his back, before settling back down onto the futon with a slight sigh.

 “Morning,” Rin doesn’t look up from the laptop, “how’re you feeling, _princess_?”

Haru sighs when Rin uses English for the last word and pulls blankets up around himself. He shuffles over to lean against Rin. After a moment of lethargically blinking at the screen, Haru stands up, letting the blankets fall and walks over to the kitchen. He pulls an apron over his head and turns on the grill. There’s some mackerel in the fridge that’s calling his name.

“Make me some?” Rin calls after him from the table.

Haru adds a few more pieces of fish to the grill. From the other room his phone starts ringing. Just before it goes to voicemail he grabs it. 

“Yeah?”

“Haru! Rin told me you were awake. How are you feeling?” Makoto sounds drowsy, and Haru can hear dogs barking in the background.

“I’m ok,” Haru tells him quietly. He heads back into the kitchen to watch the fish, “are you ok?”

“Just tired,” Makoto laughs, “I guess you missed some more school, then?”

“Yeah,” Haru is silent for a moment then adds, “some classmates invited me out drinking tonight.”

“Oh! You should go!” Makoto sounds happy.

“But work…”

“I go drinking with co-workers once in a while, Haru,” Makoto reminds him seriously, “it’s not bad to take some time for yourself. Whether you go or not, I think you should call in sick for work today as well.”

Haru gives him a little moue of agreement, and transfers the fish to a plate.

“Listen, I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you tonight, ok?” Makoto sounds reluctant, “I love you. Get some rest.”

“Love you,” Haru mumbles back, feeling a warmth pool in his chest. He ends the call and carries the plate of fish out to the main room.

Rin has pushed the laptop aside, “mackerel, eh?”

Haru, “shut up.”

Rin laughs and takes a piece without further complaint.

Haru takes a moment and calls his manager to tell her that he can’t make it into work that night. She admits that he didn’t look so good the day before, and that it’s best if he takes the time off so that he can get better sooner. Then he sends a short text to Goshima confirming that he’s coming with them tonight. He receives an over-enthusiastic text in reply with the place and time that they’re meeting. Haru decides that he’s all talked out and rests his head on Rin’s lap, and balances the plate on his chest so that he can keep eating mackerel with greasy fingers.

Rin laughs at him, but lets Haru do as he wants.

Haru’s phone rings again, but when he sees the screen light up with “parents” he rejects the call and tries his best not to feel a sharp pull of guilt. He nuzzles at Rin’s bellybutton and presses tiny kisses against his abs to distract himself.

“Hey that tickles, you,” Rin rests a hand on Haru’s cheek and continues to stare at the laptop screen.

“Stop working,” Haru keeps kissing.

“This isn’t work, it’s for fun!” Rin insists, but he looks down at Haru with a quirked eyebrow.

Haru noses the edge of his waistband and says, “I thought you came here to visit us.”

Rin blushes, but grins, and strokes Haru’s hair back, “yeah, so?”

Haru stretches quietly on Rin’s lap with his arms above his head. He lets the empty plate slide to the floor and stares up at Rin with an expression that clearly says “pay attention to me.”

Rin sighs dramatically, “fine, fine. Sit up.”

Haru leans up just far enough to hook an arm around Rin’s neck and pull him down into a kiss. They hover with their lips inches apart for a second before Rin surges forward to kiss Haru. He wraps an arm around Haru’s back and holds him up, while he bites gently down on Haru’s lower lip.

They break apart so that Haru can turn to straddle Rin’s lap. He tucks red hair behind Rin’s ear and curls his hand to cup the back of his head. He ducks down to press a sweet kiss to Rin’s mouth. He slows Rin’s insistent movement, and tips his head slightly so that they fit better together. He parts his lips slightly to dart his tongue out and Rin pushes back to deepen their kiss. His hands are bruising on Haru’s hips.

Haru indulges him for a while, remaining pliant and receptive. He lets Rin suck on his tongue and bite his bottom lip. Slowly, Haru begins gently leaning Rin back until they lay on the floor. He rests his forearms on either side of Rin’s head and lazily pushes back into the kiss. He licks into Rin’s mouth and muffles the moans that bubble up out of Rin. He can feel Rin trying to drag his hips down, trying to grind up against him.

Haru sits back onto Rin’s thighs and keeps one hand on Rin’s stomach to keep him down. He wipes his lips with one wrist and tips his head to the side while staring down at Rin. Then he says quietly, “I’m going to go make Makoto’s lunch.”

As he stands and walks to the kitchen, he smiles slightly at Rin shouting indignantly after him, “you complete tease, Nanase! Get back here!”

Ten minutes later, when Haru is finishing stir-frying vegetables, Rin shuffles into kitchen, glowering at Haru. He picks up an uncooked piece of carrot and crunches it grumpily.

Haru ignores him and finishes up the last of the food. Rin has moved out back into the main room and glares dramatically at Haru when he exits the kitchen with Makoto’s lunch container. Haru just chucks Rin’s jacket at him and slips on his own shoes. He waits for Rin to scramble for his shoes before stepping out into the hallway.

They make their way down the block to the closest bus stop. At some point between their front door and the bus stop, Rin has decided that he forgives Haru, so he starts complaining about his team-mates from university. Haru can hear the compliments behind the flippant criticism.

The bus arrives shortly after they do, and Haru finds a double seat near the back. Rin follows him, and settles in beside him.

He’s saying, “and the captain fucking told me to take a break, can you believe it? His training schedule is so weak. Of course I’d put in more time than what they schedule at practices. So I’m not allowed to swim for at least a week. At least now I can visit you two.” Rin slides his hand into Haru’s, weaving their fingers together on the seat.

Haru relaxes into the touch and nods. He hears a sharp giggle from the front of the bus and tenses. A gaggle of high school girls wearing the uniform that he often sees on this route are shooting him and Rin furtive glances and covering their smiles with neat little hands. They whisper to each other. Do they know? Haru frowns and feels a little fearful.

Rin has fallen silent and squeezes Haru’s hand comfortingly. He makes a little questioning noise.

After a moment Haru squeezes back and murmurs, “I bet I could still beat you.”

Rin’s laugh is sharp and loud.

They arrive at Makoto’s animal shelter after only ten minutes. Haru knows the city in relation to Makoto. He knows the community pool where they spend their Sundays, or the doctor’s office he’d taken a feverish Makoto to last winter. So this animal shelter would always be Makoto’s in Haru’s mind.

There’s no-one at the front desk, but the bell that chimes when Haru opens the door summons a young woman from the back.

“Oh, Nanase! Good to see you,” she smiles, “I’ll go get Makoto?”

Haru nods and lets out a small, “thank you.”

She heads back towards a door. When she walks through it, the sounds of dogs barking playfully filter through and are cut off when it slams shut behind her.

Rin looks around at the adoption flyers posted to the bulletin boards around the room. Haru waits at the counter with the lunch in both his hands.

Makoto steps out from the back, calls over his shoulder to someone jovially, and hurries to the counter. He looks sweaty, out of breath, and happy, “Haru! Rin!” He smiles widely at the both of them, “I was just playing with a few of the dogs for their afternoon exercise,” he explains.

Haru lifts up the lunch towards him.

Makoto takes it from him gratefully, “thanks! I forgot to make myself one this morning - ”

“I know,” Haru replies quietly. He knew that Makoto would be distracted by Haru’s stress and Rin’s arrival, and too tired after staying up so late the night before to remember to make a lunch.

Makoto just smiles gently at Haru and squeezes his hand before peeking into the box, “oooh, looks good.”

“It better,” Rin pipes up, “after his fancy education.”

Makoto just hums happily, then looks a bit apologetic, “I’m sorry, but I really can’t take a break right now. I’d love to eat with you, but it’s really busy around here today.”

Haru predicted that this would be the case, but he still felt a little disappointed that he couldn’t stay to spend more time with Makoto. He accepts Makoto’s hug good bye and then he’s leaving with Rin out the door again.

There’s an out-of-season shaved ice stand on the way to the bus stop, and Rin buys them each a small cup of coloured ice. Haru eats his slowly on the way home until his tongue is blue and numb. Rin wraps an arm around his shoulders to keep them warm. When Haru is unlocking the apartment’s front door, Rin leans over to kiss him. His lips are like frost against Haru’s that melts into the warmth of Haru’s parted lips, and they stumble into the apartment. Haru barely manages to slam the door shut before Rin has him pinned up against it, kissing him firmly and cupping his chin in both hands.

Haru firmly drags him forward by his belt loops and grinds up against him. He tilts his head to break from the kiss and presses his lips gently against Rin’s neck. He grazes his teeth lightly against the racing pulse and slides his hands from hips to the curve of Rin’s ass.

Rin tips his head to the side slightly and lets out a small wimper. His hands have slipped down to cling tightly to Haru’s jacket. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, before deliberately stepping back to awkwardly shuck his jacket and pull his shirt over his head. They fall messily onto the floor.

Haru steps over them to follow Rin to their bed. His coat lands on the kotatsu, and shirt hangs off the edge of the bed. Rin is propped up on his elbows and Haru kneels over him, knees to either side of Rin’s hips, before resting one hand on Rin’s shoulder and the other on his jaw, and leaning down to kiss him lazily.

Wrapping his arms around Haru’s shoulders, Rin moves back to lay them both down. He bites at Haru’s lip and kisses him with fire, but Haru eventually pulls away slightly.

With mere inches between their noses, they stare across the pillows at each other. Rin strokes Haru’s side comfortingly, but his eyebrows are crinkled in confusion.

Haru remembers that Rin needs explanations with actions and so he slips an arm across his waist and murmurs, “I just want to hold you like this.”

Rin is silent for a moment, then shifts forward to press a kiss to Haru’s forehead, “ok.”

They lay together quietly, listening to the muffled sounds of the upstairs neighbor’s shower and the traffic that filtered through the slightly open window. Eventually, Rin starts squirming. The movements are a small leg twitch, or adjusting how his arm lays, but they grow bigger and bigger until he’s twisting around and letting out small huffs of breath.

Haru lets go and Rin rolls back towards him, “let’s go for a run.”

-o-

When they get back they cuddle even though Rin complains that they’re sweaty and watch a show that Rin had queued up on the laptop. After a couple hours Rin ushers Haru to take a shower. “You want to look nice, don’t you?” He nags and chucks his travel-sized fragrant shampoo and conditioner after him. Haru scrubs the shampoo through his hair and thinks of how he’ll smell like Rin once he’s done. He doesn’t think that his classmates care if he’s freshly showered though, since they’ll be coming almost straight from class.

When Haru reluctantly leaves the warm shower, Rin has laid out clothes for him. Haru looks down at them and picks the shirt up, “… this is Makoto’s.”

“Yeah, well, Makoto has nicer clothes, I guess,” Rin shrugs and bites down on a popsicle while focusing on the laptop screen.

Haru just puts the clothes on.

Then, Rin pulls him down to sit on the floor in front of him, and begins blow-drying Haru’s hair. He brushes it and fiddles with the bangs for far longer than Haru thinks is necessary. When presented with the un-fogged bathroom mirror, Haru doesn’t think he looks any different than usual, but Rin looks pleased, so he doesn’t say anything.

Rin looks him over once more, nods, and kisses his cheek, “you’ll be late, get going.”

Haru checks his pockets for wallet, keys, and phone before slipping on his shoes and stepping the front door. He wished that Makoto had been able to make it home before he’d had to head out. 

The evening was slightly chilly, and bustling. Even though it wasn’t a Friday or weekend night, many groups of friends were chattering excitedly and wandering along the sidewalk. Haru tried to dodge them as best as he could. He arrived at the bar after only walking for fifteen minutes. It had low lighting for the evening crowd and seemed comfortably full. Haru wasn’t sure if he should walk in, or wait outside, when he heard his name being called.

Mitsuha, a short, brunette classmate stood by the railing dividing the sidewalk and the road. A cigarette glowed between her fingers, and she beckoned Haru closer, “keep me company. No-one else is here yet.”

Haru walks over to her, dodging a group of giggling high-schoolers, and stands so that the cigarette smoke wouldn’t blow into his face.

“It’s freezing out,” she complains, blows out a stream of smoke, and then takes another drag.

Haru shrugs, and remembered when he’d moved to put on a jacket. Rin had smacked it out of his hands and proclaimed ‘you’re not ruining the look I made for you!’.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” She notes.

Haru shrugs again, “too cold. Mouth is frozen shut.”

She coughs out a laugh and looks at him sidelong, “right.”

They stand in silence a moment longer as Mitsuha finishes her cigarette.

Goshima turns up then, weaving between other pedestrians and waving enthusiastically at them.

“Good thing _you_ showed up!” Mitsuha calls out to him, “Nanase hasn’t said a word to me this whole time.”

“Hey, go easy on the guy,” Goshima laughs, “thanks for coming, Nanase.”

Haru just nods at them.

Goshima jerked his head towards the bar and started walking backwards towards it, “let’s head inside and grab a table. I’ll text Sugano and let her know where we’re sitting.”

Mitsuha flicks the cigarette onto the sidewalk and follows Goshima and Haru to the front door. They’re silent as they choose their table, and take seats. Eventually, they choose to sit at a booth near the front that opens out onto the front window. They can watch people bustling along the sidewalk next to them, and see the twinkling lights of the city.

“Sit next to me,” Goshima smiles up at Haru and pats the seat next to him excitedly.

Mitsuha just rolls her eyes and slides into the seat across from them, “god, Shima, you picked the worst seat in the place. Now we’re going to have people gawking at us from the street.”

Goshima waves a hand at her dismissively, and stage-whispers at Haru, “ignore everything she says. She’s just cranky because her blood-type is AB.”

Mitsuha scoffs at him and flips open a menu, “at least you picked a good place.”

Haru opens a menu too, just for something to do with his hands.

Before the busy waiter manages to arrive at their table, a tall, willowy girl with dark skin and close-cropped hair rushes to their table, “I’m so sorry for being late! The buses are terrible right now. I think there’s an event or something.”

Mitsuha makes room on her seat, “it’s no big.”

When Mitsuha leans closer to share her menu, the taller girl smiles shyly.

“This is Sugano,” Goshima nods at her for Haru’s benefit.

She smiles sweetly, and Haru returns a quiet, polite, “hello.”

The waiter finally makes their way to the group looking harried, but cheerful. They all order their drinks, and Goshima adds an astounding amount of appetizers to the bill.

Mitsuha mutters, “show off,” teasingly.

Goshima just shrugs and grins.

They fall into a comfortable chat about school. Their drinks arrive along with plates of food and they immediately dig in. Mitsuha complains about the pickiest of professors, and looks to Haru to confirm her complaints. He doesn’t have strong opinions of them one way or another, so he just takes another deep plug of his drink.

Goshima is a bit pink around the tips of his ears after his first drink, and he begins waxing poetic about Haru’s cooking skills. Haru is reminded strongly of when he first met Rei and still feels at a loss of how to respond to admiration.

Haru begins to feel sleepy a couple hours in, when Goshima and Mitsuha begin squabbling over something trivial, with Sugano laughing good-naturedly at them. He tries to count how many drinks he had, but the room is fuzzy, and the company surprisingly good, so he rests his forehead on the table lightly, his eyes flutter shut for long moments.

“Hey, are you ok?” Mitsuha’s voice is a bit loud through the fuzz of the alcohol rushing through Haru’s blood.

Haru nods against the table top, “- just for a minute…”

“Dude, you’re drunk,” Goshima laughs and is crunching on a bit of food.

“Mhmm,” Haru agrees whole-heartedly. He’s drunk. He hadn’t had enough to eat, and drank just a bit too much, and was just too sleepy to do this anyway. Quite suddenly, he misses Makoto. 

“Sit up, sit up, or they’ll kick us out,” Goshima chides, not unkindly. He levers Haru up into a sitting position.

“Do you want to go?” Sugano asks gently. She looks too worried, Haru thinks. He’s not smashed, just tired. He just wants to drink a pool-full of water and curl up between Rin and Makoto for the night.

Mitsuha is hiding tiny sniggers behind one hand.

Sugano shoots her a reproachful look and tries to ask Haru again, “are you ok?”

“Of course,” he mumbles while fumbling through his pocket to get his cell. He really wants to see Makoto. He manages to get it out and thrusts the device at Sugano, “call Makoto.” He knows that his fingers are too clumsy to operate a touch screen right now. He also knows that she’s the one he trusts the most not to say anything unnecessary.

“Ohh, is Makoto your girlfriend?” Goshima’s eyes are sparkling now. Or maybe that’s just the street lights blurring through the window in their booth.

Haru narrows his eyes, trying to tell, and presses his lips into a thin line, “no.”

Goshima is laughing now, at the expression on Haru’s face and caught up in the buzz of alcohol.

Mitsuha shakes her head in mock disbelief, “I would never have guessed that the cool, refined Nanase-san couldn’t hold his drink.”

“I can too,” Haru shoots back belatedly. He’s feeling another wave of drowsiness, and tries to put his head back down.

But Sugano is handing his phone back, “they’ll be here soon.”

“Thanks,” Haru holds the phone for a moment, “sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Sugano smiles at him, “you’ve been sick lately, right?”

“That’s _just_ like you, Shima,” Mitsuha sighs gustily and shakes her head, “forcing a poor, sick student to go out with you on a chilly night like this.”

“Hey, hey,” Goshima shakes his drink at her and bit spills, but he’s too drunk to notice, “that is a completely unfair assertion on my character.”

Haru zones out as they fall back into meaningless squabbling and laughter. He stares out the window at the twinkling shop lights and blurry cars that pass by. Every so often, Haru would feel his eyelids slide shut and he fights to stay awake. The next time he opens his eyes, he sees Makoto jog past the window. Haru turns around in his seat to see Makoto striding into the restaurant. He gives the hostess an apologetic bow, scans the restaurant, and locks eyes with Haru. He smiles at the hostess, points at their table, and weaves between the tables to cross the restaurant.

“Are you ok, Haru?” Makoto is a little out of breath, and had pulled on Rin’s jacket hurriedly. It pulls too tight across his shoulders.

Haru nods blankly, blearily staring up at Makoto and feeling warm.

Mitsuha blinks up at Makoto, “who the fuck is this.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Makoto bows slightly towards them, “I’m Tachibana Makoto. I got a call from Haru’s cell…?”

“That was me,” Sugano says quietly, “I’m Sugano – “

“And I’m Goshima, and that’s Mitsuha,” Goshima shouts heartily, pointing around.

Makoto smiles politely and nods slightly, “nice to meet you,” but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes and Haru knows that he’s still worried.

Haru wobbles to stand up. He clutches at Makoto’s sleeve and turns slightly to nod a tiny bow at the table.

“Thank you for looking after Haru tonight,” Makoto fills in for his silence.

Sugano smiles kindly at them, “thank you for coming with us tonight, Nanase. I had fun.”

Haru nods again and mumbles, “Makoto, I want to go home.”

Goshima is blushing hard, through the redness of alcohol, and he looks a bit stunned. Haru frowns at him.

“Of course,” Makoto’s voice is soft as he wraps an arm around Haru’s waist to keep him standing. He steers Haru towards the front door.

He can hear Mitsuha ask once again, “but who the fuck _was_ that?”

The air is cold when they step outside. Haru breaths out so that he can see his breath fog. He wobbles, even with Makoto’s steadying arm.

“Are you ok?” Makoto asks again.

Haru looks down at their feet and nods. He doesn’t want to see Makoto’s worried expression. He worries too much, and Haru is _fine._

They walk down the sidewalk a bit more, but after just a block, Makoto turns to Haru, “I’m going to carry you back, ok?” He kneels down a bit, offering Haru a piggy back ride.

 Haru awkwardly climbs on. He feels altogether too much like a stuffed cotton doll; his joints are stiff and his fingers feel clumsy. He loops his arms around Makoto’s shoulders and tucks his fevered forehead into the crook of Makoto’s neck. The collar of the jacket smells like Rin. Like his cologne and chlorine. Haru sighs through his nose softly, “sorry.”

Makoto staggers to his feet, “it’s alright,” he adjusts Haru’s weight and then starts to walk slowly forward.

Haru wonders if Makoto knows that he’s apologizing for more than the piggy back ride. That he’s sorry for being a mess the past few days. For being emotionally confused and distant his whole life. For making Makoto take care of him. Haru props his chin on Makoto’s shoulder, “love you.”

Makoto laughs happily, quietly, “I love you too, Haru-chan.”

Haru frowns, “drop the ‘chan’.” He leans his forehead onto Makoto’s shoulder and thinks ‘I’ve missed you.’ He wishes that they weren’t so busy, and that they were back in high school when the only thing taking up their time was swimming with each other. But he doesn’t miss the apathy after his grandmother’s death when everything was absolutely too much and he just shut down. And Haru can’t imagine going back to a time when he didn’t have Makoto’s unconditional love. He dozes off then, and when he lifts his head lethargically, it is to blink at the buzzing lights in the hallway outside their front door.

Rin pulls the door open, spots them, and asks quickly, “is he ok?”

Haru stares at him blankly, because obviously he’s fine.

Makoto nods while walking across the threshold, “yes, just tired I think. Had a bit too much.”

Rin bustles around them while Makoto gently places Haru back down onto the bed. Rin hands him a large glass of water and glares at him until he has swallowed it all.

Everything is too fuzzy and fast for Haru to make sense of it, and his last memory is curling up on the bed, tangled between Makoto and Rin, and muttering, “I’m fine, I’m fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I wrote almost 5k about basically nothing at all? HMMM 
> 
> I'm tracking the tag "Instant Ramen Fic" if there's anything you want me to see c: 
> 
> Next chapter: A date with the threesome! (And Haru's parents aren't done showing up.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru's father comes to visit, and the trio goes on a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to Blushies for listening to my whining as I get this chapter out.  
> Trigger warning for a panic attack, maybe? Take care of yourselves, lovlies. 
> 
> (You all may also have noticed that I keep pushing back the final chapter count and that's because... I'm surprised how long it's taking to fit everything in! Sorry about that.)

Haru nearly walks into Sugano and Goshima when he enters class the next day. They are chatting in the doorway, but stop when Haru almost runs into them. Goshima twists his mouth and manages to squeak out a 'good morning!' before he slips past Haru out the door. Haru watches him go with a blank face.

“Uh...” Sugano looks a bit confused at being left hanging, then recovers to a slightly apologetic expression. She smiles softly at Haru, “how are you this morning?”

“Alright,” Haru mumbles, ignoring Goshima's behaviour.

“Let's sit,” Sugano turns to find a seat in the classroom and explains, “Mitsuha is too hung over to come today. She always over-does it.”

Haru nods.

They shuffle into two seats near the middle of the lecture hall and sit in silence for a while. Sugano fiddles with her pencils for a moment, obviously uncomfortable with the silence.

The lecturer has only just arrived and begun setting up for class, so Haru takes pity on her and picks up a topic for conversation even though he would be more than happy to sit in silence, “did you stay out late last night?”

“I actually went home shortly after you did,” Sugano fiddles with the notepad in front of her and laughs a bit, “the other two probably forgot that we had classes today.”

“Or didn't care.”

“Or that,” Sugano nods once, “listen, I'm sorry about Goshima. I think...” she lets out a heavy sigh, “I don't know what his problem is.”

Haru shrugs. He doesn't particularly want to think about what could have Goshima worked up.

Just as Sugano's about to say something else, Haru's phone vibrates in his bag. Haru leans down to rifle through his bag and pull it out. There are two messages. The first reads:

From: Unknown Number  
Message: _Haru, this is your father. I will be in town today. When do your classes end? I can come pick you up, and we can talk._

Haru's heart races as he stares wide-eyed down at the message. He reminds himself that it's just a text and that his parents aren't in the room with him. He can ignore it, if he wants.

He taps on the second message with trepidation.

From: Makoto  
Message: _Have a good day at class Haru! If you start feeling unwell, you can come home. Rin will be home all afternoon, so don't worry about it. Stay hydrated ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ i love you_

Haru swallows tightly and thinks about Makoto's warm smile that morning. How Rin had managed to make them pancakes for breakfast that morning (and only half were burnt.) He thinks about Makoto reaching out to pull him from pools and from the claustrophobic darkness of his grandmother's bedroom. He remembers Rin returning from Australia and rediscovering his passion for swimming. He reminds himself that they will be waiting for him in that tiny apartment tonight, and for just a moment, Haru feels confident that nothing his parents throw at them would be too much for the three of them to shoulder.

On auto-pilot, Haru flicks back to the message from his father and replies with when his last class ends. Resolutely, he closes his phone and tucks it out of sight.

“Are you ok?” Sugano asks quietly as the lights dim and the lecturer turns on his powerpoint.

Haru nods and tries not to think about the text he'd sent back.

-0-

By mid-afternoon, Haru is certain that he's going to vomit. He's had four cups of coffee, thinking that the next one will get him to focus on class. All he can think about is facing his father again for the first time in months. When he remembers how long it has been, he feels guilty and then angry when he remembers why.

Mitsuha had slouched in around lunch time with dark circles under her eyes and hair messily pulled back. Sugano is kept busy fetching the both of them fresh bottles of water.

At some point, he had shakily texted Makoto 'eat lunch' when he couldn't find the words to explain that he was going to be talking to his father for the first time in months, and how that made him feel, exactly. He feels less like the adult he is, and a lot more like the child that his parents had left behind in Iwatobi.

He makes it through afternoon classes, somehow, and dodges a professor who attempts to stop him on the way out of class. Sugano waves goodbye and Haru returns the wave, because she is really quite nice, and he wouldn't mind if she was the first classmate who he talked to regularly from university. He hurries to the front parking lot on campus and rearranges the contents of his bag three times just for something to do before a car pulls up in front of him.

The window of the passenger side rolls down and Haru spots his father in the driver's seat gesturing at him to get in. Haru awkwardly sits down into the passenger seat and pulls his seat-belt on before the car crunches out of the parking lot. He hasn't been in a car for a long time, but after glancing around, Haru surmises that his father had managed to get a company car for the time he's in town.

They are silent during the car ride, and a short five minutes later, they're pulling into the parking lot of a trendy cafe.

When they've sat down, Haru thinks about how ridiculous his father looks as an impassive, middle aged business man in this trendy little cafe filled with high schoolers. They each order a drink when the waitress comes to their table, but otherwise sit in silence. Haru stares out the window until their drinks arrive and his father speaks for the first time.

“How are you.”

Haru shrugs, “fine.” His father couldn't sound less interested even if he tried.

“Good,” Haru's father folds his hands on the table top and stares directly at Haru, “I think that it's about time that we spoke as adults, Haruka.”

Haru's mouth tightens in a slight frown he stops himself from saying something biting.

His father continues as though he didn't expect a reply, and he probably hadn't, “I blame myself, I suppose, for your confusion. For not being around to teach you anything.”

Haru stiffens. His expression hardens into a stony, blank mask even while his heart pounds and he reminds himself that it's unlikely that his father understands what Haru went through in childhood. That doesn't stop Haru from hoping that maybe he understood how abandoned he had felt.

“I should start from the beginning,” his father's face doesn't change even slightly. He maintains his cold, unfeeling facade, “when you visited your mother and I last year, well,” he pauses and inhales, “it was a shock what you told us.”

Haru presses his trembling hands against his thighs under the table and holds his father's piercing gaze.

“When you told us about - _him_. Well. I suppose I should have seen it coming,” he takes a small sip of steaming coffee.

Haru grits his teeth and doesn't even think about drinking for fear of retching. Of course he doesn't understand. Countless rebuttals swirl in his head and bubble up from his gut, but Haru's throat is clamped shut. He can't speak a word.

After a moment, his father starts again, “Haruka, it's natural that you wouldn't know how to be an upstanding adult without parental figures in your life. I should have been there to tell you that such arrangements are incorrect. I could have prevented all this confusion years ago, if only we had taken you with us.”

Haru struggles to keep his voice even, and his face blank. He reminds himself that he inherited his poker face from the man in front of him who seems so determined to have this conversation with as much apathy as possible, “you're wrong. I am not confused -”

His father just adopts a slight look of pity, “Haruka, your mother and I just want what's best for you. Two men, well, it will just get you into trouble eventually. Think about your future. About his. And what of his parents? It's much better to just leave all this behind.” He says these last words with a tone of finality.

Haru just mumbles, “grandmother always told me that love is perfect as it appears.” Resolutely, he meets his father's eyes, “I love Makoto. Our lives might be tough, but that's just how life is.”

“Haruka-”

“Don't tell me any more,” Haru can hear the blood rushing past his ears, and he fights to keep his composure, “did you come here to tell me to leave him? I live with him. I love him. You can't ignore- You can't pick and choose what parts of me you'll call your son.”

“I didn't say any of that,” his father states impassively, “don't get worked up.”

Haru snorts and glares down at his mug of decaf coffee.

“I just want you to think about it,” he offers pragmatically.

For one peevish moment, Haru considers telling his father about Rin who's probably lazing around in bed right now and wonders if even that would crack the blank mask on his father's face.

“Also, I would like you to consider coming to the family reunion. It would make your mother very happy.”

Haru bitterly thinks, _it would make me very_ un _happy_ , but he just nods silently.

“You know, when you're in school, everything seems so idealistic. Experimenting is all a part of being young.”

Haru can't believe how wistful his father sounds all of a sudden.

“I was like you, in university. But I had to grow up. You will understand one day.” He places enough money to cover their bill on the table and stands. He smooths a hand over his tie, “I think it's time that I drove you home.”

Haru follows his father to the car, taking shallow breaths and clutching the strap of his bag tightly in one hand. The car ride is silent and Haru focuses all his energy on not panicking in his father's car. If there's one thing that Haru is determined to accomplish from this meeting, it is maintaining a facade of stoic maturity.

He directs his father through the city towards his home, but makes him park on a small side street two blocks away from Haru's apartment building. Somehow, Haru wants to protect that little apartment from the disapproving presence of his father. As though his father's words with seep into the walls and saturate his life. They say stiff goodbyes, and it takes all that Haru has not to run to his apartment.

After he's sure that the car is out of sight, he jogs quickly towards his building. He can't remember the short time it takes to reach his front door. His breathing is loud in his ears, short and laboured. His lungs are too small, and his vision is blurring. His hands are shaking too much from adrenaline to hold his keys straight and he just grips the doorknob while resting his forehead on the door. He sucks in a messy breath and feels like the world is spinning. He feels like he's underwater, gasping for air and unsure which direction is up.

The door opens towards him and Haru is shoved backwards slightly. The door stops slightly ajar.

“What the hell?” Rin pokes his head out. He has headphones in and Haru can hear his music, tinny and distant.

Haru just sucks in a breath, wide-eyed and clenches his keys in one hand. The teeth press into the flesh of his palm. He steps out of the way.

“Uh, welcome home?” Rin pulls one earbud out and pushes the door open fully.

“I'm back,” Haru mutters. He looks away, down at a piece of worn out carpet to the left of Rin's feet.

Rin steps to the side, “I was just going for a run. Didn't know when you'd be home.”

Haru steps into the apartment. He tries to take a long breath through his nose, but his insides feel clenched too tight. He can't get a deep enough breath and he's still trembling a bit. He sits down heavily on the edge of the bed. His thoughts are spinning wildly. He's angry that his father assumes Haru's life with Makoto is fleeting. That it is childish, impractical, and disgusting. He's afraid of his father's internalized homophobia, and what that will mean when Haru refuses to conform. He's afraid of people finding out and thinking that he's gross, or discriminating against Makoto because of him. Maybe Makoto's parents will change their minds and want Makoto to find a nice girl. Maybe they already resent Haru already for taking their son away.

“Holy shit, breathe.”

Haru can hear Rin's voice, but he can't focus enough to process what he's saying. Haru feels Rin sitting next to him, and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Haru just curls into himself and pushes the heels of his palms into his eyes. His ears are ringing and he wants everything to stop for a while.

Rin coaches him into a measured breathing exercise and Haru tries to shut everything out except for Rin's calm counting.

He doesn't know how long he spends sucking in panicked, noisy breaths, but eventually Haru realizes that he's breathing more easily. He slowly lowers his hands to his knees. His eyes feel gummy and blurry. He sits up a bit more and lets out a small, hiccoughing sigh.

“What the fuck is going on?” Rin asks pointedly, but with a soft voice.

Haru just shakes his head slowly.

“Seriously, Haru, what...” Rin sighs, “uuugh, c'mon and _talk_ to me already.”

Haru shakes his head more insistently, “m fine. I'm _fine_.”

“Bullshit,” Rin leans in closer, with one arm wrapped around Haru's back, “you've been a wreck the whole time I've been here. How long has this been going on? What's wrong?” When Haru just sits in silence, Rin struggles to keep his voice level, “I can't help you if you don't talk to me.”

Haru just flinches. After a moment he mutters, “I don't want to talk about it.”

Rin is silent, and Haru can almost hear him grinding his teeth. Eventually he says, “this morning Makoto and I were talking about maybe going on a date today. You up for that?”

Haru nods minutely, and rests his head on Rin's shoulder. Maybe spending time between the two of them would make him forget the feeling of being hunted. They can act as his blinders to the odd looks on the street, or the echoes of his father's words ringing in his ears.

“Ok,” Rin presses his lips to Haru's hair then checks his phone, “we're meeting Makoto in the park in an hour. He's coming from work. Guess I won't have time for that run... Do you wanna get ready?”

Haru traces an idle pattern in Rin's track pants, “you get in the shower. You take longer in the bathroom than me.”

Rin tickles Haru's side, “that's because _I_ have something called _style_.” He stands and steps towards the bathroom.

Haru scoffs and lays down on the bed, rubbing the part of his stomach that was tickled to get rid of the sensation.

Rin pokes his head out of the bathroom and points at Haru, “change your shirt. I don't date raggedy andy's.” Then he shuts the door and Haru can hear the hiss of the shower start.

The pipes groan in the walls and Haru sits up. There's nothing wrong with his soft, dark t-shirt, but he still moves to rummage through the tall dresser where he keeps his clothes. Instead of finding folded shirts, though, there are socks. He tugs another drawer open and it's his and Makoto's underwear mixed together, folded in neat little rolls and sorted by colour. Looking around the apartment, Haru realizes that there are no more ripped flyers littering the floor, or cords tangled in front of the tv. He thinks that the place might have actually been _dusted_. There are fresh sheets on the bed, and the picture frames on the bookshelf are in a slightly different order. Rin cleaned. Haru covers his mouth and smiles a little.

Rin probably had had hours to spare without anything to do all day, and of course Makoto and Haru's messy apartment had bothered him. Haru opens another drawer and finds his shirts. He probably won't be able to find anything properly for weeks, but he's a bit happy all the same.

Rin exits the bathroom, squeezing water out of his hair, “oh, yeah, I tidied up a little today. Hope you don't mind.”

Haru just pulls his shirt off with a small smile.

They finish getting ready with minimal squabbling. Rin keeps ducking back into the apartment for little things that he'd missed, but eventually Haru drags him down the steps to the street. If they had forgotten something, then it wasn't meant to come with them anyway.

They walk towards the park leisurely, side-by-side, while Rin chitchats. Rin carries a bag filled with sandwich supplies, lemonade, and a blanket. Haru hopes that Rin had remembered to pack fish for the sandwiches.

When they reach the closest entrance to the park, they wait on the bench beside the wide, paved path.

A few minutes later, Makoto cycles up to them. He steps off the bike and smiles down at them softly, “hi, how were your days?”

“Good,” Haru mumbles before Rin can say anything. Rin elbows him so Haru elbows back, and Makoto just looks down at them with a bit of confusion.

“Uneventful,” Rin eventually adds, while throwing Haru a pointed look.

“Um, well, that's alright I guess,” Makoto brightens, “we had a lot of adoptions today, so I had a busy day. But it's all good if I can find all the kittens homes!”

Rin stands and gives Makoto a light kick, while smiling, “sap. C'mon, let's find a spot for this picnic.”

They start off down the path with Makoto wheeling his bike beside them. There are couples in the park, and young children near a playground. They walk in a bit further in to try and find some privacy, but since it's an urban park, they know that it's not going to be very large.

Haru tries to head them towards the artificial lake in the center, but Rin argues for a picnic under some trees nearer the flowerbeds. Makoto eventually sides with Rin claiming that “he doesn't want to have to worry about Haru jumping in the lake.” Haru pouts a little. He hasn't tried that in years – well, months at least – and there are fish in the water besides. He doesn't want to bother the fish.

Just as they've laid out the blanket and Rin has started to pull out the lemonade, dark spots of rain start to pepper the walk-way pavement. Haru looks up at the sky, and sees dark clouds rolling in. Other park-goers dig out umbrellas, and a group of young women shriek and giggle as they run towards the park exit and the streets beyond.

Rin gapes and mutters a few swears while hastily balling the blanket up and stuffing everything back into the bag.

Makoto shrugs when the rain begins to fall harder, pattering quickly on the leaves of the trees they're under. The water finally begins to reach them and falling with gusto.

The trio run towards a small, circular pavilion. They reach shelter after already receiving the first round of drenching rain. Their shirts are darkened around their shoulders, and their hair is stuck messily to the curves of their temples. The rain pounds loudly against the roof, and the wood of the pavilion turns a warm colour as it soaks up water.

Haru leans over the railed edge and sticks his hand out to feel the cool, heavy rain drops against his palm.

Rin pushes his damp bangs out of his face and sighs, “I guess that's a bust.”

Makoto looks out at the park being flooded by the rain. Everyone else had rushed away, and now all that is left are flowers bobbing under the weight of the rain. He leans his bike against the railing and turns to Rin with a gentle smile, “I dunno, I think that we can make the best of it.”

Rin leans back against the railing and props his elbows up on it. He lets out an annoyed huff.

Makoto leans down to kiss him gently.

Rin immediately melts into the kiss and grabs onto Makoto's arm to steady himself.

Haru's eyes widen at the two of them and he checks that the park is empty before moving closer to hover on Rin's other side. He carefully tucks Rin's messy, wet hair away from his face and watches the other two closely.

Rin – always eager for attention – is blushing, and tilting his head to deepen their kiss, but Makoto pulls away and pecks a kiss to Rin's nose.

Makoto smiles, “kissing in the rain is romantic, isn't it?”

Rin's face scrunches up and he grumbles, but Haru can tell that he's mostly happy.

Haru presses a small kiss to Rin's jaw and then another to his cheek.

Rin says petulantly, “you two are ridiculous,” but he reaches down and slips his hand into Haru's.

They stare out into the rain together for a few more minutes before Makoto speaks up regretfully, “I don't think that it's going to stop soon.”

“What do you think we should do?” Rin asks, watching the trees' boughs droop under the weight of the water.

“Just run home,” Haru shrugs and steps down a couple steps that lead up to the pavilion until he's in the torrential rain too. The other two are too shocked to react right away. It's not until Haru has jogged a couple meters from the pavilion that he hears Rin shouting and running after him.

They're soaked within seconds. Their shirts are sodden and sticking against their bodies. Their shoes slap soggily against the pavement.

Makoto zips past them on his bicycle and shouts back something that gets caught beneath the rain.

Rin is cackling curses into the grey sky and Haru has to push himself to keep up with his pace. When they peel out onto the street, they startle the few business people who are hurrying under their sombre umbrellas towards the closest building. Rin laughs harder, and Haru tips his face up for a second to feel the rain droplets peck his face.

The apartment isn't far, so it's not long until they barrel through the front door, gasping for breath, and completely drenched through. Makoto is already there, just bringing a tray of instant apple cider from the kitchen. He smiles cheekily at them.

Haru fluidly strips off his sodden clothes and leaves them to puddle on the floor as he crawls across the bed to shove open the only window. There is no wind, so the heavy curtains of rain don't enter the apartment. The refreshing scent of clean rain permeates the room.

A warm blanket is wrapped around Haru by a concerned Makoto. He looks away from the window, back at the other two. Both Rin and Makoto have stripped down to their underwear. Makoto shivers slightly in his soft, forest green boxer briefs as he sets out the mugs of cider. Rin is stooping down to pick up Haru's abandoned clothing and cherry-pink striped boyleg panties stretch across his ass. He makes disapproving noises as he takes all of their wet clothes to the bathroom so that they can drip dry.

Haru takes the steaming mug of apple cider from Makoto and lets the fragrant steam warm up his red, sniffling nose.

Makoto presses a kiss to his cheek and then sits close while sipping his own. He pulls the duvet over them both in a cocoon.

Rin steps out of the washroom, and immediately takes the remaining mug of cider, “you asshole,” he mutters at Makoto with little heat.

“I just wanted to prepare something for you two,” Makoto doesn't look the slightest bit abashed. He holds the duvet open with one arm, “come join us.”

Rin slides in on Haru's other side. He gulps down the scalding cider and props his pointy chin on Haru's boney shoulder, “so what are we doing now.”

Makoto squeezes his arm that is around Haru gently, “I think this is nice.”

Rin leans closer and tucks the crown of his head into the crook of Haru's neck, “yeah I guess.”

Haru takes quick, tiny sips of his hot drink and thinks that this is very nice indeed. He can feel the gentle rise and fall of Makoto's chest where it's pressed against his shoulder, and Rin has an arm slung lazily across Haru's lap. He's wrapped in blankets and pressed between his two favourite people in the world. Haru snuggles down slightly. Yes, this is very nice.

Eventually, as he tends to do, Rin begins to squirm. “I'm hungry,” he grouses.

Makoto sighs, “yeah... me too. I missed lunch.”

Haru wiggles his toes in the blankets, but doesn't say anything. His stomach grumbles; he hasn't eaten all day.

Rin slips out from the blankets to go fetch the bag of sandwich supplies. He pulls the bag open and starts setting everything out on the kotatsu, “it's all still good.”

“Let's have an indoor picnic!” Makoto suggest excitedly. He leans forward to look at the sandwich fillings that Rin has set out.

Haru stays swathed in the blankets as Makoto moves to pull the kotatsu to the edge of the room and prop it up out of the way against a wall.

Rin lays out the picnic blanket and pours out glasses of lemonade. He starts to messily assemble a sandwich.

Makoto and Haru join him, each piling toppings onto their own sandwiches and eating with enthusiasm.

A grape pings off of Haru's nose, and he looks up in surprise.

Rin is laughing, “sorry, thought I could get it in your mouth.”

Makoto grabs the bag of grapes and lobs one at Rin's face.

Rin looks angry for a moment, but then puts down his sandwich and opens his mouth. He points to his open mouth emphatically and waits with determination.

Makoto obligingly tosses a few, and they keep bouncing off of Rin's chin, or missing his face entirely.

Haru quietly eats the grapes that roll across the blanket and watches the two of them grow more and more concentrated.

Finally Rin manages to catch one and thrusts both fists in the air in triumph while chewing the grape, “nailed it.”

Makoto laughs and eats a grape himself.

They finish eating and Rin drains the last of the lemonade from the pitcher. He leans back on two hands, his legs sprawled in front of him, and lets out a satisfied sigh. He then looks up at Makoto, coyly through his lashes and spreads his legs further apart slightly with a wicked grin.

Makoto blushes furiously.

“Oh come on. I came here for dinner and a show. We've finished dinner and I'm,” Rin wiggles his hips, “ready for a show.”

Haru looks between the two of them – Rin grinning and red creeping down Makoto's chest – and crawls over towards Rin. The blankets slip slightly from his shoulders to his hips, and barely cling there. He cups Rin's chin in one hand, and brings their mouths together. He lets Rin bite into his mouth and tip their heads. Makoto makes tiny squeaking noises behind them.

Haru trails one hand down Rin's chest a few times before running his knuckles over the stubbly bits of happy trail that Rin hasn't bothered to shave because he isn't swimming. Haru stops at the edge of the low-slung underwear and toys his fingertips there for a moment.

Rin has one hand in Haru's hair and is tugging inelegantly and letting out impatient little sounds.

Haru obligingly trails one finger over the growing bulge under Rin's underwear. He then palms it gently and feels Rin's dick twitch under the silky material.

Rin leans back from the kiss slightly and groans, “fuck hold on.” He scoots back and pulls off the underwear impatiently.

Haru throws a look back at Makoto and tips his head in a silent question. Are you going to join us or just watch?

Makoto covers his face in his hands for a moment, then breaths out, “alright. ok.” When he lowers his hands, his cheeks are still flushed, but he has a determined look in his eyes, and his dick is hard. He stands to move behind Rin, and gently shuffles them all further onto the picnic blanket.

Rin looks behind him, running his eyes up and down Makoto body, but is distracted when Haru grabs his knees and pushes Rin's legs apart so that he can crawl between them.

Haru kneels before Rin and draws him up into a messy, open kiss.

Makoto presses a kiss behind Rin's ear, to the nape of his neck, and bites gently at the crook between his neck and shoulder. One of his hands reaches around to press a rough palm against Rin's abs, and trail upwards towards one nipple.

Haru reaches down and wraps his hand around the head of Rin's dick. He tugs gently a few times while licking into Rin's mouth, before letting his other hand trail down and gently nudge against Rin's balls.

Rin is groaning now with his hips moving up into Haru's fist.

Haru lazily kisses him for a short while, breathing heavily through his nose, and the pulls away to stare down at Rin's rosy head appearing and disappearing under his thumb, “where's the lube.”

It takes Rin a moment to realize that Haru is talking to him, and he grits out, “bathroom, second drawer.”

Haru rolls his eyes, and clumsily gets to his feet. Over Rin's shoulder, Makoto watches him and eyes his half-hard cock. Haru bites his lip and runs a hand loosely over his own dick under that heated gaze, before staggering off to the bathroom.

When he returns, Rin has turned and is on his hands and knees, mouthing messy and wet against Makoto's cock under the green fabric. He's moaning appreciatively against the hard flesh, and Makoto is trembling and biting the meat of his thumb so that he won't make noise.

Haru kneels behind Rin, pours a bit of gel on a couple of fingers, and lets it warm up before pulling Rin's cheeks apart with one hand and ghosting a fingertip over his asshole.

Rin jolts, and rests his forehead against Makoto's thigh and commands shakily, “just do it- I'm clean, I'm prepped, just-”

Haru presses one finger inside and is slightly surprised at the easy slick glide. Rin lets out an encouraging groan, so Haru slowly adds a second finger. After not too long Rin is pushing back insistently against Haru's finger, and only half-able to focus on doing much to Makoto save for biting into his thigh.

“Ah, what do you want tonight, Rin?” Makoto winces slightly at the redhead and rubs a comforting hand against his shoulder.

Rin rests his cheek on Makoto's thigh and squeezes his eyes tightly, “wanna – just- _ah_...”

“I want to watch,” Haru looks to Makoto who is blushing again and just looking like he doesn't know how to deal with these two in general, let alone when they team up.

Rin pulls enthusiastically on the elastic of Makoto's underwear, “that's a great idea. I'm gonna... Gonna ride you, ok?”

Makoto covers his face again with one hand, but begins peeling his boxers away with the other.

Rin tries to help, but he gets distracted when Makoto's dick pokes out and pushes heavily against the elastic. He plays with the tip with his fingers and sticks his tongue out to taste, only getting distracted when Haru curls his fingers.

Makoto takes the moment to move enough so that his boxers are hanging from one ankle and he's managed to not knee Rin in the face. A condom foil smacks him on the cheek, and Makoto looks at Haru with a mock hurt expression. He teases himself for a minute – one hand on his cock and eyes glued to Rin rocking weakly back against Haru – then rips open the foil and rolls the condom on with shaking hands.

Rin looks so fucking eager when Makoto scoots closer, and he props himself up onto his elbows.

Haru removes his fingers with a wet slide and sits back on his heels while Rin scrambles to his knees and Makoto sheepishly reaches out a hand to guide him forward. When they've found a position with Makoto leaning against the bed, and Rin kneeling over his lap, one hand on Makoto's cock to guide it upwards, Haru touches Rin's shoulder and murmurs, “face me.”

Rin blinks for a moment, then turns so that his back is to Makoto and readjusts his hold on his dick, “better, _princess_?”

Haru just flicks his pec and stares at the two of them. Makoto is breathing too fast, and has one hand on Rin's hip. He's worrying his lip between his teeth and tenses when Rin slowly lowers himself. There's a quiet moment where Rin and Makoto are biting back sounds of pain and pleasure, where Rin just stays firmly seated and tries to breathe.

Then, Rin starts to lift up, his thighs quivering and voice rough, “fuck yeah, _god_ , Makoto.” He tosses his head and plunges back down.

Haru sits back, one hand on his dick, and watches how Makoto is nearly coming undone already. He'd always been unable to stand in the face of Rin's passion, and now he's muffling loud cries with one hand and looking at Rin like he can't believe his eyes.

Rin is holding his dick against his stomach with one hand – too focused on lifting and lowering himself over Makoto to properly jack himself off. He licks his upper lip and concentrates on the stretch of his muscles as he moves, and the feeling of Makoto trembling beneath him.

Haru speeds up his hand in rough time with Rin and presses two fingers into his own mouth to press against his tongue.

Makoto reaches around Rin to fist his dick, gives it short rough pulls, and stutters out, “s-sorry, but I'm- I'm close so-”

Rin just moves with more energy, sweat beading down his chest and small appreciative curses dropping from his reddened lips.

Rin comes first, out-done by Makoto's large hand, and Makoto follows soon after with his face pressed into the back of Rin's neck.

Watching them orgasm pushes Haru over the edge and he comes with a bit of surprise, warm over his fist. After the immediate slam of pleasure, watching Rin and Makoto relax against each other in exhaustion leaves Haru feeling a bit hollow. He quickly fetches warm cloths from the bathroom in an attempt to escape the unwelcome numbness. When he returns, the other two have managed to move up to the bed. Their legs are tangled and Makoto is kissing tears from Rin's smiling face. Haru ditches the cloths, flops down onto the bed, and wiggles his way between them. He pushes his back against Makoto's chest and buries his face in Rin's throat.

Makoto laughs softly and sleepily, “was it good, Haru?”

Haru just stays silent and reaches around to pull Makoto's arm over his waist.

“Well I enjoyed myself,” Rin declares with a satisfied sigh.

“Haru?”

“I think he's asleep,” Rin yawns and then snuggles closer, “seems like a good idea.”

Makoto makes a small sound of agreement and pulls the blankets over the three of them.

Haru waits until both of their breathing slows and deepens. He closes his eyes and focuses on the warmth of their bodies pressed against his. He lays awake for long hours imprinting this very feeling into his mind, and unable to fall asleep for the fear of one day losing them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave me comments on what you liked and what you want more of. I really, really love comments haha  
> (As always, my tumblr is eatpienotwar - and I take art/writing commissions) 
> 
> I like to think that when Haru and Rin grow up, they shout less when they're upset. Or at least, Rin will be more gentle with his boyfriend!! 
> 
> Next chapter: Haru can't keep avoiding his problems forever. Makoto and Rin super-boyfriend mode activate!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin wants to get to the bottom of Haru's troubles. Makoto just wants Haru to be ok. Haru doesn't say a whole lot (as usual).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait - more rambling at the end! Enjoy!

The next day is a Saturday so Makoto and Haru happily sleep in. Rin wakes up before seven, because he's used to training every morning. The sun is only just warming up the sky, but he can still hear the bustling rush of early morning traffic and people through the slice of open window. He extracts himself from the tangle of the other two and the blankets that Haru clutches. 

Makoto blinks sleepily up at him, gives him a slow, warm smile, and then snuggles back down against Haru who lets out a little moue at the movement. Rin's face is red before he even starts his morning run. 

An hour later, Haru wakes up, blearily rubbing his eyes. He manages to drag himself into the kitchen and pour a glass of water to chug down. His tongue is heavy and thick in his mouth. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, Makoto snoozing peacefully behind him, when Rin returns through the front door quietly. They lock eyes, and Haru puts a finger to his lips and then points to Makoto who's still breathing deep and even. He silently offers Rin his half-empty glass of water. 

Rin steps closer and gulps down the rest of the water. He pulls out his ear buds – something pop and upbeat echoes out – and whispers, “are we letting him sleep?” 

Haru nods, thinking of how much work Makoto has been busy with, and resolves to let his boyfriend catch up on as much sleep as he can. He considers snuggling back into bed, but eventually stumbles into the kitchen and grabs an apron to warp around his naked body. He stifles another yawn and pulls out a large mixing bowl. 

Rin hovers in the doorway, empty glass in one hand, “what're you making?” 

Haru pulls ingredients from the cupboards, “breakfast.” 

Rin rolls his eyes and leans one hip against the doorway and watches Haru heat up a skillet, then mix flour and sugar into a bowl.

Haru continues adding ingredients and mixing into the bowl in the tiny, quiet kitchenette. He reaches for the final ingredient – a package of chocolate chips – but they're not on the counter where he left them. 

The bag is scrunched up in Rin's hand as he pops chocolate chips into his mouth. 

Haru shoots him a deadpan look. 

Rin grins back and flicks a chip at Haru. It bounces off of Haru's shoulder. Rin bites his lip to stifle his laughter and launches another one. 

Haru resigns himself to the attack and settles for glaring harder. 

Eventually, snickering to himself, Rin hands the package back over to Haru. 

Haru mixes a cup of chocolate chips into the large bowl. 

While Rin is distracted reaching to put the cup down near the sink, a chocolate chip bounces off of his cheek. Shocked, Rin looks over at Haru, whose eyes are shining with mischief. Rin puts a hand over his chest and adopts a hurt expression that can hardly conceal the curl of his grin, “I can't believe you betrayed me like this.” He advances on Haru, hands outstretched as though to tickle. 

Haru tucks his arms into his sides, recoiling stubbornly, and launches another chip at Rin, “you won't get breakfast.” 

Rin pauses and seems to seriously consider his options. 

Haru threateningly raises another chocolate chip. 

Rin raises his hands in surrender and mildly steps backwards, “ok, ok, _Princess_.” 

Haru frowns but he still turns back to the hot skillet and pours the batter out into small pancakes. He focuses on cooking a tower of pancakes while Rin slips back out into the main room. 

Haru joins him at the low table twenty minutes later with plates and steaming pancakes. 

Rin shoves away the swimming magazines that he was idly flipping through. He greedily pulls a plate of pancakes closer and hums quietly and happily to himself. 

While Haru is serving up another portion of breakfast, Makoto rolls over with a groan and squints over at them. He yawns, stretches, and blinks slowly at the other two. After a dazed moment he lets out a little upset squeak, “you guys should have woken me up!” 

Rin shrugs, “it's the weekend.” 

Haru just hands him a plate of pancakes and pats Makoto's knee. 

Makoto sits up and accepts the plate and fork, “thanks, Haru,” he still looks like a kicked puppy and turns his baleful eyes on Rin, “I wanted to spend time with you two. Since it's my day off.” 

“Well you're awake now. Don't worry about it.” 

Haru's cell vibrates and almost falls off the edge of the cluttered table. He catches it and checks the lit screen for an incoming call. 

“I guess I shouldn't,” Makoto sighs. 

“Seriously, it's no big deal,” Rin stuffs another bit of pancake in his mouth. 

'Parents' lights up the cell screen. Haru frowns down at it and taps the button to reject the call. 

Rin and Makoto share a glance. 

Rin has his eyebrows raised insistently and Makoto just bites his lip and shakes his head. 

Rin jabs his fork at Makoto and then at Haru. 

Makoto wilts a bit.

“Uhm,” Makoto clears his throat and asks gently, “anything important, Haru?” 

Haru shakes his head, starts eating his pancakes again and watches the two of them. 

Rin rolls his eyes and mutters, “weak.” 

“Hey,” Makoto shoots back at him, a little hurt, “I don't even know what your pointing means. And pointing with utensils is rude anyway.” 

Haru glances between Makoto and Rin while folding another pancake into his mouth. 

Rin puts down his fork, “ok, so something is up with Haru and you can't tell me you didn't notice.” 

Makoto looks away, down at his plate looking guilty and uncomfortable. He shrinks into himself, folding his solid six-foot frame down. 

Rin then turns on Haru, “we've got to talk about this sometime.” 

Haru frowns and replies muffled through the pancakes in his mouth, “no we don't.” 

“Well, yeah, but if we don't, then you'll just spend all your time stressed,” Rin leans over the table towards Haru challengingly, “whatever's happening is obviously a big deal.” 

“Rin,” Makoto speaks quietly, warningly. 

Rin sits back with a harried sigh. 

Haru swallows and mumbles, “there's nothing wrong.” 

Rin mutters, “I can't fucking believe this.” 

“Haru,” Makoto turns gently towards his boyfriend, “I know it's tough but... I agree with Rin. This can't keep going on. I didn't want to say anything until you were ready but...” 

“If left alone, you won't say shit-all,” Rin finishes. 

“Well... yes,” Makoto shrugs. 

Haru glares at the two of them. 

“Haruuu,” Makoto insists. 

Haru hunches over his plate and pokes at the food there with his fork. His shoulders creep up to his ears, and he tries to block the other two out with his fringe. 

“I know you don't want to worry us, but this affects us too,” Makoto continues, “nothing you say will upset me, you know?” There's a beat of silence, “I can't promise for Rin though.” 

“Hey!” Rin interjects.

“Sorry, Rinrin,” Makoto teases. 

Rin turns his attention back to Haru, “is it work? School? Are you getting bullied?” 

“I'm not in middle school.” 

“You'd fool me,” Rin shoots back. 

“It's your parents, isn't it,” Makoto says finally, “it's the family reunion?” 

Haru nods, with a weight in his chest. Somehow it sounds like such a small thing when someone else says it. It's your parents. Just two people, so distant from himself. Somehow it doesn't account for the abscess in his gut of guilt and loneliness and anger. But it's easier to have Makoto speak for him. 

For once, Rin is quiet, watching Makoto and Haru with sharp eyes. 

Makoto slides down to sit next to Haru and wrap an arm around him, “there's more.” 

Haru nods. He's quiet for a moment, gathering himself, but he knows that no amount of thought will make his words more orderly, “I saw my father yesterday.” 

After a pause Makoto says, “how'd that go?” 

“Terribly,” Rin supplies. 

Haru curls further into himself but looks up to stare stubbornly at the red head. 

Rin holds his eyes challengingly, “you had a panic attack when you stepped into the apartment.” 

Makoto's arm tightens and Haru grinds out, “I'm ok.” 

Rin bites out, “that's not 'ok', Haru. That's fucked up. If they're doing that to you, we need to do something to stop them.” 

“No, I-” Haru's throat tightens and cuts off his words. Imagining Makoto and Rin having to face the disgust and disrespect from his parents is unbearable. He wants to protect them from that. He doesn't ever want someone to hurt these two because of him. 

“What,” Rin pushes, “are you gonna say you're 'fine' again?”

“Rin,” Makoto's voice is level, a veneer over his own anger, “that's not helping.” 

“At least I'm doing something,” Rin counters, temper riled and looking for a target. 

Makoto is silent for a moment, knowing that Rin isn't really mad at him, but also feeling a bit hurt.

Rin clenches his hands and sits back slightly, “...sorry.”

Makoto nods, turns to Haru, and starts hesitantly, “I know... that it's your choice, but...” he can't quite hide the tremble of anger in his voice, “I don't want them near you. I don't want them to talk with you ever again. The reunion is not a good idea.” 

Haru begins picking at the loose thread again. He knows that Makoto has a point, but he also feels too guilty to decide to cut contact with his parents completely. It's far easier to quietly let them drift apart, than to stand firm and reject them. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Makoto asks quietly. 

Haru shakes his head. 

“If you need us,” Rin cuts in, “we'll be here.”

And Haru has never been happier to have these two be beside him. He thinks that maybe, with their support, he could stand against his parents. 

Rin lets out a rough sigh, “we should do something really nice today. Assholes exist, but that doesn't mean we have to think about them, right?” 

“Yes,” Makoto tightens his arm around Haru briefly, “if that's ok, Haru?” 

Haru nods and folds another pancake into his mouth. He tunes out as the other two start making plans. He plays with the buttons on his phone idly while trying to ignore the feeling that the issue with his parents is unresolved. They are still persistent, and he doesn't know why. While he still has the courage from the previous conversation and the warmth of Makoto pressed against his side, Haru dials his voicemail and listens to the message left. 

It's his mother's voice: saccharine, but with the slightest edge of frustration, “Hi Haru, it's Mom. I heard that you talked with Dad the other day. I hope that what he said won't keep you from coming to the reunion. Wouldn't it be nice to show up all together for your aunts and uncles? And as for the issue of your living circumstances... it's something we can discuss as a family, right? He shouldn't have gone behind my back. Give mummy a call back!” 

Haru puts his phone away with a little feeling of distaste. She obviously wants to pretend that they're a whole family and show off in front of the cousins. But he'd always thought of his parents as a unit, even while they had hurt him. Now, though, he gets the feeling that even they aren't as unified as he had assumed. 

Haru looks up and realizes that Rin is staring at him. He blinks and looks over to Makoto.

He smiles and fills Haru in, “we've decided to stay in, is that ok? The weather is supposed to be similar to yesterday, and we don't want to get caught in the rain again.” 

Haru agrees. 

Rin stands to clear the table of dishes and take them into the kitchen. 

Makoto presses a kiss to Haru's hair and whispers, “love you.”

Haru snuggles closer. 

“You guys are so sappy,” Rin declares when he returns. 

“Eh, but aren't you the biggest romantic here?” Makoto teases.

“No I'm not,” Rin argues, “stop calling me that.”

“You cry at dramas and shojo,” Haru reminds him. 

“I don't cry- that was one time- god get off my case.” 

Makoto laughs fondly at him. 

They begin arguing over what movie they should watch, and finally decide to look up a bootleg of the latest comedy. Makoto pulls it up on the laptop and then hooks it up to the tv. 

Rin has cuddled stubbornly into Haru's side, as though Haru is going to reject him. 

Makoto lays down on the bed behind them as the movie starts. He runs warm fingers up the back of Haru's neck and plays with the hair there. 

Rin doesn't stop fidgeting and keeps squirming against Haru's side. 

Haru pushes him so that his head lays on Haru's lap and so that he lays still. 

Rin obstinately stares at the tv screen and huffs out a sigh, but his cheeks are flushed all the way to his ears. 

Haru tucks some of Rin's red hair behind his ear. 

Twenty minutes into the movie, Makoto is chuckling quietly behind Haru, and Rin is holding a hand over his mouth to stifle laughter. There are tears in the corners of his eyes. 

Haru stares blankly at the screen, and then down at the hysterical boyfriend on his lap. 

Makoto has an arm over Haru's shoulder now and is muffling laughter into his back. 

Haru relaxes into them and their happiness. He can feel a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his lips. 

A knock comes at the door. 

Rin reaches up to pause the movie on the laptop and rolls over to glance up at Haru and Makoto. The trio sits quietly for a moment, unsure whether they heard the door and unwilling to pull on clothes in case the person goes away. 

But the knocking starts up again, short and firm. 

Makoto rolls over to grab clothes from the pile that is permanently at the foot of the bed. He throws a shirt and sweats over at Haru and begins pulling on his own set. 

“Here, I'll get it,” Rin, still in his work-out clothes, levers himself up with a hand on the table and steps towards the front door.

Haru unties his apron and tugs the shirt over his head. He's only just shimmying on his sweats when Rin glances back to confirm that the other two are dressed and then opening the door. 

He stops with the door halfway open, “uh...” 

“Is Haruka in?” 

Haru freezes at the curt voice, eyes wide. 

Rin glances back at the other two with a helpless, surprised expression. On autopilot, he lets the door swing open fully into the hall. 

Haru's father steps into the doorway, brushing lint from the cuff of his suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter than usual and it's been a while AND I'm ending with a cliffhanger??? I'm sorry, you guys. You're all to kind to me. =A= Just over a month between chapters.... I hope to not do that again.(I have a big chunk of the next chpter written, don't worry!) I've been busy with school and not super confident that I'm doing well writing this fic. Tbh my confidence about writing has been pretty low (I'm a literature student, so I read really fucking good authors all the time....) But Blushies has been an amazing cheerleader, hearing me out whenever I complain that I suck at dialogue or that I don't know if it's all too melodramatic. And re-reading all the super kind comments I've gotten in the past help me very much. I really rely on your kindness, so thank you for being such fantastic readers! 
> 
> Anyway, y'all are here to read about cute boys, not some self-conscious nerd haha
> 
> Thank you everyone who's come back to read the new chapter, and a BIG welcome to everyone who's just discovered it! 
> 
> I track the tag Instant_Ramen_fic, and my tumblr is eatpienotwar so please feel free to come on over and say hi! c: I hope all you lovlies are doing fantastic! xoxo Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading~
> 
> The tag is "instant_ramen_fic" because I don't want to upset any foodies over in the instant ramen tag haha  
> Leave me whatever you'd like me to see over there! c: 
> 
> visit me over at my tumblr: eatpienotwar
> 
> I'm taking writing commissions right now, so if you want something like this or have a burning plot bunny, shoot me a message!


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